In a 112 days, my three sons will all be leaving the nest for four full weeks of sleep away camp. that is right FOUR FULL WEEKS. what will i ever do with myself for four weeks without the fighting and yelling and negotiating. what will i do with myself without having to be a maid and a short order cook...a police officer and a prison warden. what will i do??? now i know that to pay for these four full weeks of camp, i will be giving blood every 3 weeks(depending on how long it takes to replenish in my system) i am participating in experimental, yet entirely safe, lab experiments and i have taken to singing outside of bus stations across the tri-state area-so, if you ever are taking a greyhound...stop on by and toss me a quarter or two!
i do not have great memories of camp. it started when my parents(ah, the folks with the good intentions)sent me to Camp Ramah in nyack. Every year, for about 8 years (could've been 6, could've been 20..who remembers) my mother would dress me in a shirt that said "hello, my name is Banji" i am not kidding. basically, i was being set up for failure every single summer. and when my brother was old enough to join the fun, he, too, wore a shirt that said "hello, my name is Jed" (that is his name) god help us all. My parents should have just sent us in shirts that read "hello, i am a giant loser, please do not be my friend."
The good parts of camp ramah? i learned how to read from the torah(totally useful at this point in my life) i learned that i am highly allergic to mosquito bites (always a plus on those ramah mountain sleepovers-my swollen face just added to my ever growing popularity)and i learned the joys of rocky mountain toast (or was it rocky mountain fever?) I also learned that i hate authority (still do, if you couldn't tell) and i was successful in making my counselors cry every single year. Yes, i have always been a role model....how did they let me become a parent???
When the torture of ramah was over, I spent the summers enriching my cultural side. My sister went to sleepaway, my brother went to sleep away, and I participated in the fair lawn high school summer programs...I learned the flute with mr. delisio, the violin with mr maleveris...i learned how to type, to draw bowls of fruit and i took drama. So not only was i well rounded physically, i was also well rounded culturally!!! and then my dad would take off two weeks and we would go on a road trip (that is for another blog....you have NO idea....)
did i stay home all of those summers because my parents loved me so much and they wanted me around? or, did they want to torture me and keep me away from the few friends that i had?? One day a therapist is going to be lucky to get me (hey, maybe that is what i should do for four full weeks...months....years....)