Saturday, October 30, 2010

Sunday,early,October 31, 2010

One day to go......

This was my last Saturday night in my 30's. I have had many crazy sat nights in my almost forty years, I have also had many pathetic-I-have-no-life-no one-will-ever-love-me Saturday nites(though not recently...) and tonight, was a really fun night...a perfect segway into, what husband#1 so kindly pointed out, my fifth decade..holy freaking crap MY FIFTH DECADE.....when did this happen?!?!?!?!

Anyway, tonight I went to a really happening bar in teaneck, was so happening that they had a bouncer, a velvet rope situation before you entered the premises, a cover charge..who knew that in teaneck, nj there was such a happening place. The only problem was the dj never heard of my boyfriend Rick Springfield, did not know about eighties music and kept playing the same techno crap over and over and over again. I still danced a little bit, though my friends who came with me were not as enthusiastic about dancing...but I still had a great time....and we were all home before midnight,..,holy crap, I really am going to be forty..home before midnight-and that was a real happening night for me(actually for all of us who went out....)

I know that I only have one more post after this....i really appreciate all of you who have been reading my nonsense over the past ten months....It saddens me that I won't be able to share with all of you the first time I get my hair professionally colored(and it turns purple,with my luck), the first time I realize that I am going through menopause(really looking forward to that), the first time I pee in my pants from coughing....the first time I meet my future daughters in law.....and the list goes on and on..all very exciting things....all things I know you are just dying to hear about...but, alas, all of this ends on Monday....when then first day of the rest of my life begins(but isn't that everyday??)

Happy sunday

Friday, October 29, 2010

friday october 29, 2010

is it inevitable?

my parents have always been pretty creative with gifts...they gave husband #1 and i a gift each month for the first year we were married (did they only think we would be married a year? hey, never thought to ask that questions...) anyway, now, for anniversarys, they give us gift certificates for take out places or restaurants (a gift for me because i dont have to cook and a gift for husband #1 in case he doesnt like my cooking..hey, never thought to ask that question either..) anyway, i am in the take out store and a jewish husband walks in and says to the man " i will take a pound of smoked turkey roll." " im sorry sir," the man behind the counter replied, "we only have smoked turkey OR turkey roll."

the jewish husband got a look of panic on his face...that look of "oh no, if i get the wrong thing, she will use this as an excuse not to have sex with me...she will use this as an excuse to scream at me...she will use this as an excuse not to have my parents over for another 6 months..." and i knew what was going to happen next..he took out his cell phone and dialed frantically, hoping that his wife would answer the phone, then answer him...and all would be right with the world again.

this is my do i avoid this happening to my sons??? how do i avoid them turning into quivering morons that dont know how to do anything on their own? somehow, my parents did this with my brother-he can cook, shop, clean, take care of the kids without any major disasters taking did they do this with him? i have absolutely no idea.

any suggestions would be appreciated.

happy friday

Thursday, October 28, 2010

thursday october 28, 2010

you can only do so much...

as a mother of sons, you have to accept certain facts...that no matter how many times you drive 80 miles an hour through residential neighborhoods to, hopefully, catch a school bus that your kid missed because even though you tried to wake him up 300 times, he doesnt hear/listen to you, and you still miss the bus and have to drive him to school in your pajamas while still having not even had your morning pee or brushed your teeth....that no matter how many times you cook 17 different meals because no one is happy with what is on the menu.... that no matter how many times you bring donuts to school because your kid texts you that he wants breakfast....that no matter how many times you refrain from taking your kids head and smashing it against a wall because he is being so difficult and tells you that everything you do it wrong and that you are the worst mother in the world.... are still going to end up in a nursing home with a beard and no teeth and the orderlies giving you cards on mothers day and on your birthday...holycrapim90 and i haven't seen sons# 1,2 or 3 in years....should i even be cautiously optimistic?

i love my boys (most of the time...242 days until camp starts-is it wrong that i know that already? hey, its on the website..if they started counting down, why cant i?) and no matter what they end up doing with me...i know that they know that i love them.

i will keep telling myself that on the bus ride to shady hills home for the wayward elderly....

happy thursday

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Wednesday October 27,2010

the dementia is setting in....and its not even my birthday....

ya, so yesterday i blogged about great inventions...and the invention i had seen at the mall, the one that prompted me to write about the other inventions, well, i forgot all about it.

folks, the greatest invention in the last 40 years is....spanx...for men. that's right....right there in nordstroms they have spanx for men. Now i dont think that spanx for women is a great invention-they are painful and ridiculous and you need to grease yourself to get into them-and if you dont have a hard time getting into them, it means that you dont need them in the first place...but spanx for men????? really???? upon reading the package, i have a feeling that the men who need them have....well, they have moobs-man boobs, poor guys. These spanx will help hold in your moobs- guess since they cant make sports bras for men, they needed spanx. i wonder what husband #1 will think if i buy him a pair for chanukah..though, he doesnt have moobs...he does have a large head, but they dont have spanx for that yet...though, they do have Big Melon Gear-for men with exceptionally large craniums-and that is where i order his baseball hats from. (unfortunately, i am not kidding...more unfortunately, husband #1 is not going to be too happy about what i have written about him-he doesnt mind that you know about the escort service however....go figure...never know what makes men happy....)

so spanx for men goes into the great invention hall of fame. Now, on an even more pathetic note, son #2 is going to israel saturday night with his paternal grandparents for his bar mitzva, and he wont be here for the big i wanted husband #1 to get me a surprise birthday cake for friday night family dinner. So, i went to the bakery and ordered my surprise that the saddest think you have ever heard? the man at the bakery couldnt stop laughing at me(at least he didnt call me a fat loser...just a regular loser...) when asked what i wanted written on the cake..well, that was easy "happy birthday ME".....yup yup yup...being a mother of sons..gotta get my own so sad on so many levels....

happy wednesday

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

tuesday october 26,2010

great opposed to great expectations, which i think was a book i was supposed to read in high school...

in 40 years a lot has changed...some of these things i have mentioned in previous the disappearance of the records and eight tracks and the appearances of gadgets like ipods that play music magically without any form of musical component-just magic! i have discussed the invention of "milky way in a jar." ..still haven't tried that one...though it speaks to me everytime i pass it in the supermarket..that isnt a landmark invention, but something new nonetheless....

gone is the small black and white tv from your parents kitchen and say hello to the 300 inch high definition movie screen that still cant show your teams football game when cable is fighting with fox..go figure (i, of course, who do not have cleaning help, have access to 7 thousand channels both here, abroad and in space....maybe that is why husband #1 doesnt let me pay or see the bills..well, that and the escort service...)

we have gone from rotary phones that didnt extend 12 inches from the wall to cell phones that your kids can easily lose in any location in the world..or mall...or school building...or neighbors car..or vikings game....and today i learned that they can take a card and put it in a new phone, press some buttons on the computer, say abracadabra and all the information from said missing phone..appears on the new phone...absolutely unbelievable..

yet, with all of these improvements, we still havent found a cure for lets all hope and pray that in the next 40 years, but hopefully much much sooner...that invention comes our way.

this blog took a totally unexpected turn for both of us....happy almost birthday to my dear dear friend who was the guest of honor last night (since i will not be blogging anymore when it is her actual birthday....) and let me paraphrase the wish her mom gave to me this morning...may the next 40 years only bring us good health and good times......

happy tuesday

Monday, October 25, 2010

monday october 25, 2010

one week to go..and then what?

last night i attended a beautiful wedding and had a fabulous time. why? because i really liked the people who made the wedding, i really like the person whose wedding it was and i really liked most of the people who were at the wedding!....look at that, i am not even 40 yet and already i am becoming a whole new postive/glass half full kind've middle aged woman. or...perhaps i am still just drunk from vegas...(just kidding!!)

speaking of vegas, i am happy to report that it only took 48 hours to start screaming at my family again...but i did it with a big smile on my face because i was thinking "what would donny osmond do?"..ya, back to life. back to reality...I know that husband #1 took care of HIS kids while i was away, and i appreciated that the house was still standing...but the cake and grapes from the weekend were still on the table where i left them...really? is our kitchen that big that the walk to the garbage by sons #1,2,or 3 was really too long?..perhaps we should down size...but they all survived and might have even been happy to see me when i got back..even though i was less than thrilled to be back and i am totally thinking of going away for 5 days every month(though the 5 days i would pick, and the five days husband #1 would pick are totally different...enuf said..)

Anyway....husband #1 (and i am sure assorted friends and acquaintances) cant wait for me to stop talking about this birthday already...but could one of you please remind him to get me a surprise birthday cake for this weekend? thanks.....and really, it is hard for me to stop talking about it because, truth be is all about me. no, really, it is....

thats all i got....

happy monday and happy birthday to rock!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Almost Friday October 22,2010

All good things must come to an end..but not before......

My sister and I have been planning this trip for almost a year..well, she has been planning it and I have just been talking about it and talking about it and talking about it. And now, here we are, sitting at the airport waiting for our flight home. Because that is plan, you wait, you get there and then, just like that..its over. But, man o man, was it a great trip. Eventhough there are still things that I cannot cross off of my bucket list (because they are either illegal or immoral..or both) was an awesome trip. And my sister and I are still speaking....

But, I must tell you about today, since it is still today for four more minutes(but this also counts as Fridays blog) we were walking back from the bellagio where we saw an awesome art exhibit-Picasso, Lichtenstein, Renoir...just incredible..anyway, we noticed the sun was out so we were racing back to our hotel to get an hour of sun(keep in mind that the word "racing" is being used generously because at this point in our trip we were a bit slow from walking so feel free to substitute the words waddling quickly for racing) and who do I see?!? I see Hugh Grant...walking down the street with sunglasses, a hat, sneakers.....I tell my sister who I have just seen and she goes racing ( now I am using the word literally...she moved really fast...)after him to confirm my identification and to get an autograph and a picture. That was not to be because the rumors about mr. Grant are quite true..he is an a&$&@@....that's heard what I said. So now, my sister has a lovely photo of hugh grant giving her the finger....kindve made the whole trip worthwhile....

So as our trip comes to an end, and our luggage weighs twice as much as when we got here, yet, we didn't buy a thing.....we can always look back at this past week with big smiles and great memories...happy birthday to my sister....and 11 more days guessed it, I'm forty.....holy crap...

Happy Friday (because not it really is Friday...well, not in vegas...but that's ok...)

Thursday,October 21,2010

But I don't want to go home......

Today, well, technically yesterday, was a great day. We had our free breakfast, which I am so hoping will magically appear in my kitchen Friday morning, and then we were off to explore the culture of Vegas. And their is sister aka the travel nazi, did the research. We saw a gorgeous botero sculpture at the Wynn hotel. For those of you who don't know what a botero sculpture looks like, imagine me, but black and naked...ok, well maybe you shouldn't be imagining that, but that is what the sculpture resembles...

We saw some more great pieces of art at city center which is an unbelievably gorgeous hotel situation with the most expensive shops..prada, gucci, cavalli, other names that I only know from sex in the city...and the architecture is incredible. Ok..none of this is funny..I apologize. Would it make you laugh to know that when I met Rita rudner tonight and she signed the book I bought, when I spelled my name for her and she gave me that look I get every single time I have had to spell my name for someone(usually more than once..) I told her that my mom was on crack when she named me and she laughed....sorry mom, I know that you weren't really on crack but it did make a world famous comedian laugh...highlight for me...even more than the football from fat Tuesdays filled with 50 oz of mango rum goodness....

So it was another great day in vegas...cannot believe I have to come home..sooo looking forward to looking for son #1's phone, reclaiming son 2's phone from it's current state of confiscation and finding son #3's ranger jersey.....also looking forward to doing laundry again and cooking for the sabbath queen..because even with 557 friends on Facebook, no one invited us for a meal this weekend....was I not supposed to write that? Anyway..on a final note, I want to thank my neighbor for coming over to make sure that husband #1 was wearing pants while I was gone....and he was.....

Happy Thursday.....

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wednesday October 20,2010


Flight to Vegas $ to Donny and Marie $137....sitting with your parents at a bar at the Wynn hotel .....priceless.

Yes kids, my parents had drinks with us. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that I have parents, but the whole thing was a little comical. Donny and Marie were AWESOME..and Donny pinched my sisters nose and patted her on the head so she was in heaven (apparently, Donny is her Rick Springfield..who knew?!)

The only other story is about the mean man at the club we went to....he offered to by us drinks and we said no and he put his mouth to my ear and uttered a very bad word to me...I was not pleased. I told him that what he said wasn't nice and he told me that he could have me put in jail. I was very sad...good thing there was chocolate on my pillow when I got back to the room...though I know that if husband number one was with me, he would have defended my honor and beaten the guy up. Who am I kidding, husband number one never would have paid the cover charge to get in to the club in the first place...what can you do. I got to dance at a cool club in Vegas with my sister. And that visual alone should be making you laugh right now.

Tomorrow we have a very busy day...I have no idea what we are doing, I just smile at my sister and follow her so she doesn't yell at me...

Happy wednesday

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Tuesday October 19, 2010

No you didn't just say that.....what happened to young and hip?!?!?

So here I am in Vegas with my sister. We are having a great time...not feeling so fat because there are,fortunately, more people larger than us...I know, I was surprised too-but I am not kidding...anyway, we are loving Vegas...sat by the pool, drinks are free from 5-8,shows have been's all good.

Tonight, we went to the top of the rio hotel to see the view and possibly dance. For those of you who don't know this about me, I love to dance. In fact, on any given afternoon, I have my iPod hooked up to the ihome while I am cooking or cleaning the kitchen, and I am dancing's a sight, but I love it. When I was younger, I pretended I was one of the solid gold dancers in my pretend gold lame bodysuit(didn't have the bodysuit, pretended I was wearing one, was actually wearing my Lanz of Salzburg nightgown..but who cares...)

We were excited that they let us into this club because the sign said "only those wearing young and hip clothing will be admitted." when we were admitted, I practically squealed with joy...did they realize that they let in a rapidly aging chick wearing skinny jeans from chicos?!
When we got to the top, the view was amazing, but the music wasn't so we left...hoping to find another "young and hip" location to dance.

Walking by a bar at our hotel, we asked the host where we could find places to go dancing. He was very helpful and told us a couple of hotels nearby would have what we are looking for. So I said "those places will let people our age in?" a look of horror came over his face..he looked at me, puzzled, and said "OUR age?!?!" like I meant we were the same age....this kid just finished nursing, did he really think I thought I was anywhere near his age.....when I cleared that up, he went back to drinking his juice box and my sister and got back in our
wheel chairs and went to sleep.

I still think I am young and hip....or young with's all perspective...

Happy Tuesday..for the record, it's after 1 am Vegas time and I am still awake......

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sunday October17,2010

Greeting from sin city...

I write to you high above the strip in the palazzo concierge lounge drinking champagne and eating peanut m&ms....the rams are winning, the dolphins are winning...which means my boys are happy and all is right with the world....

My parents should be here any minute......that's all for now..more tomorrow...sorry so short..

Happy sunday

Friday, October 15, 2010

friday october 15 2010

sewing oats and other random thoughts....

i am leaving for vegas on sunday. words cannot express how excited i am. am i excited for the plane ride by myself (well, with my sister, but i am not going to have to take her to the bathroom or take down her carry on or tell her to stop hitting her brother....) am i excited for 4 nights of peaceful, hopefully not bed bug, interupted sleep? the shows? the alcohol? lying by the pool watching all the silicone infused bodies pass me by? who knows...but it should prove to be an that i am looking forward to. I will hopefully be blogging from sin city-the tattoo parlor i have an appointment at has wireless, so that should really be a good one.

I am leaving husband #1 and sons 1, 2 and 3 with enough pants, powerade, coffee cakes and stella doro cookies to get them through the days that i will not be here. If you see any of them walking around town without pants, call the police....i told them that i am not bringing my cell phone but, fortunately, husband #1's parents are around so i am sure they will be able to help out. (my parents, on the other hand, will be in vegas...yes, you read correctly, they are going to be in vegas...that is for another blog...) but enough about that.

what a week it has been....after 5 long hours of bonding with the creme de la creme of the rick springfield fan club, i met my boyfriend. yes, i know he looks like he stepped right of out madame tussauds wax museum, but i love him. i have loved him since i was 11 years old...the only man i have loved longer than that is my there is a lot to be said for that. Rick and i had a lovely conversation...he remembered me and my birthday hat from his concert-i told him that i still had not washed my hair from where he kissed it (and confirmed that i was kidding, but i made rick springfield laugh and that made me so happy - especially with his history of depression and all...) it was a happy happy day. Got a great picture which once i figure out how to upload, will post it as my new blog picture, but dont get your hopes up because the fact that there is a picture on my blog at all is a miracle...

and now i have to go get ready for the sabbath queen, start packing, finish the laundry so in addition to the pants, the men in my life wont run out of underwear or socks....i do have my priorities..

happy baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Wednesday october13,2010

200th post.....I am crazy....but not as crazy as....

At 8:26 this morning, I showed up at bookends bookstore in ridge wood because my boyfriend Rick is going to be here at 1 pm. Everyone said I was crazy to come so early....but, alas, I was not the first one here...because as crazy as I am, there are even crazier people out there-hard to believe..I know.

There are two scary looking sisters here, and when I say scary, visualize facial hair on the face, 80's hair on their heads and a good 30 pounds more than necessary on their bodies. They know Rick. They know his wife, his exgirlfriends, his touring schedule, his bowel movement schedule...they know him....but not intimately because then I would no longer love Rick because that would be frightening. They gave out bookmarks to all of us on line because they made 900 of them for ricks devoted fans. I am not kidding. 900 bookmarks..and they are nice, with magnetic bottoms so they really hold the page for you. I am beginning to feel more and more normal. Granted, I did park over a mile away so I wouldn't have to worry about getting a ticket..yes, I know I am having 19 people for Friday night dinner and I have yet to do any cooking or shopping, but I AM spending 5 hours on line.....but next to these other women, I am just fine (and almost anorexic looking...)

I am both happy and proud to be here...because, well, I just love the guy.....

Wish me luck getting a good picture....

Happy wednesday

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Tuesday, October 12,2010

But it IS all about me......

One of the many problems you have being narcissistic, is that you never pause to think how your life effects anyone else's. Because let's be honest, who really cares. If I go out of my house wearing an outfit that makes me look me absolutely ridiculous-who cares? Who cares if everyone talks about it...I think I look like hot crap and that is all that matters. If I wear a dress that is really a scarf and barely covers my buttocks-who cares ?

Well people, you should care....because then I talk about you to myself, to others and I am going straight to hell....I am not passing go, I am not collecting anything but shackles and fire and brimstone and it isn't going to be the next time you leave your house, really look in the mirror...ask yourself if you are Mariah Carey or are you a suburban housewife that needs to rethink the get-up you have on....

Man, that was not at all where I thought this blog was going.....what I wanted to write about was how yesterday, husband #1 and I spent the day together and when I started talking to him about next week, when I will be in Vegas sewing what's left of my wild oats, he got this big grin on his face......and that is when it hit me.....the poor guy can't wait for me to go. With all of his pouting and whining about how I am going without him, boo freaking hoo, the guy can't wait for me to leave.....will his mother be cooking him dinner every night? he taking the week off from work to watch all of his shows on the DVr that he never has time to watch.(mainly because he is watching sports upstairs?) who knows what he has planned....and that is ok......because i will NOT be worrying about it......sorry sweetie...5 days and counting, baby.....

Happy tuesday

Saturday, October 9, 2010

the eve of 10/10/10

i would be honored....

i get a congratulations...I am the proud mother of a 17 year old boy, who is hopefully getting his license on tuesday, because in exchange for my writing this blog, he will be driving my kids(his new brothers) around whenever i need him.

tonight this new son of mine, who we will call EZ, because those are his initials, asked me to be his back-up mom. Apparently he needs a mom who has no boundaries, no editing mechanism and an unnatural devotion to the 80's. Truthfully, i was flattered because my kids think i am annoying and most people think that i am crazy, so to have some actually WANT me to be a part of their life was truly flattering and appreciated. (does that mean i am supposed to appreciate husband number one because he chose to have me in his life? i dont think so because living with him is what has made me crazy with no editing mechanism!!!!!!!!)

so i am very excited to have EZ as my new son and the boys are thrilled to have a big brother. I gave him an example as to why i am not fit to be a mother....ESPN magazine had a supplement called "bodies" where they had all of these athletes in different athletic poses, but they were all naked(i enjoyed the shot of herschel walker, but i am sure the men preferred the womens water polo team....). It was really like soft porn..totally inappropriate for young i say to one of the sons(we wont single out which one) "as long as i dont find this hidden under your mattress, we are all good...." ya, think there was a problem with that line, but i am who i am. Husband #1's father has yet to teach him about the birds and the bees so there has to be a happy medium somewhere, and i hope to find that with my new 17 year old son.

welcome to the family EZ!!

happy saturday

Friday, October 8, 2010

friday october 8, 2010


while ironing, i was watching greys anatomy and a news brief popped up after a commercial about the 5 reasons why people are defriended on facebook. unfortunately, i did not see this newscast, because i am asleep WAY before 11 so i will have to make up my own top 5 reasons. This is only humorous to me because I have been defriended....i have defriended and last weekend in chicago we had a discussion about the whole defriending situation(before we all started throwing up.....). so, here we go..

Top 5 reasons why people defriend....

5. You didnt invite them to doesnt matter if it is a party of 2 or a party of 200....there is your reason to cut down your amount of friends...(i have never done this, but have had this done to me....)

4. They are related to your husband/wife and you dont want them to see derogatory remarks about family.....(because what says "i love you" more than a status update that reads " so and so is finally divorcing the schmuck...."

3. They are democrats......(i have defriended democrats, and i am proud.....though i am sure they aren't all so ra-ra-obama now....for another blog, not written by me)

2. They are republicans.....(why would anyone defriend a republican...)

and the number 1 reason why people defriend on facebook....

1. Because they can and it is quite powerful.....(and because most people are evil...only the exceptions are good.)

thats all i got today....have a great sunny weekend...just pointing out that it is a year since son #1's bar mitzva.....and a year since i have had scotch...

happy friday

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Wednesday October 6,2010

My worst fears realized.....

So thanks to my friend and the 6 free months that she won, I have been attending The Gym for the past 2+ months. It has been going ok so one has tried to harpoon me, no one has mistaken me for one of the exercise balls...I make little eye contact, do my workouts and leave before anyone starts chasing me with a pitchfork......until today.

I have been going on a pretty regular basis, come in through the front door, swipe my card...the staff usually ignores me because I am not famous, skinny or drunk upon I walked in this morning, swiped my card..walked in towards the stairs to the spin room and one of the employees, one that I have met several times..stops me and says"I need you to show me your card." "but i swiped it when I walked in.." I said, nervously, hoping he wasn't going to press the fat alarm..."oh, you have been here before." oh god, please don't say are you sure that you , aren't looking for dunkin donuts.....please, don't say Who let you in here?......."ok," he said....and I quickly ran upstairs, or as quickly as a gal my size can make it up all of those stairs......

Did the treadmill...took the spin class with the psycho instructor and kept up just as well as the skinny minis whose boobs don't move....left without looking at the moron who questioned my place at THE GYM.....and went on my merry way....

Don't think i will be joining that scary place when my six months is up.....

Happy Wednesday

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

tuesday october 5, 2010


ya, so in less than four weeks, i, banji dawn latkin-ganchrow, will be forty years old. my mother's 40th surprise party was at the lasters house in fair lawn. the lasters are no longer together, though i am sure that the house is still there and thank god my mom is still around so its all good. i know you all know that i am going to be 40...heck, i am amazed, surprised and blessed at how many of you still read this stupidity knowing that in no point in the past few months or the next 3 1/2 weeks am i go to a cure for cancer 2. be discovered by ellen or oprah and end up on tv 3. publish a new york times bestseller 4. be on the cover of the sports illustrated swimsuit which one of those threw you off the most? i bet number 4 scared you the most!!! dont deny it...that would be any you what i dream about (well some of you know who i dream about...the hot guy from the dallas cowboys, my boyfriend rick....husband #2...ha ha ha?)

when i look back on these first 40 years, i have accomplished a lot-i mean it really is all relative...i wrote an article in college titled "marriage-the final solution" and it is still being quoted to this day....i had a piece published in the ny times metropolitan diary-granted, it was in 1991, but it is still on a masters degree..watched high school kids pee in a cup so i could drug test them(that is when i was a working girl...or, a girl who worked, though there is a market for working girls my size....)got married, produced three awesome boys who will, dear god please please please, be good husbands so their wives wont have me commited....consumed an unhealthy but enjoyable amount of nutrasweet filled products and cheesecake...made some great friends(and some not-so-great friends-but that is for another blog-trying to maintain my positive out-of-towners attitude)..traveled..saw an equally unhealthy amount of baseball games...all wonderful..all fulfulling because this is my life and these are the things that i have chosen to do with it....but sensing that my sanity is going almost as fast as my editing mechanism...the next 40 years should be really interesting :)

perhaps i should have saved these reflective ramblings for my last post...but i am planning to piss off many people in that one-KIDDING!!(or am i???....)

happy tuesday

Monday, October 4, 2010

Monday,October 4,2010..less than month to go...

The great Skokie stomach virus.....

When I last blogged, I told all of you how excited I was to be with my friend deva in her new hometown. I joked about the differences between spending the holiday with her "then and now"....well, the joke was on me because "then" we would throw up because we drank too much(well, not me or her,but other people...) and now we were throwing up because apparently, there had been some virus going around skokie(among other things...which we won't go into...) and as pleasant as the first few days were, I can tell you first hand that the chopped liver from Romanian deli is much better going in than coming out.....yuck yuck yuck....(I can also tell you that there was no candy or alcohol in synagogue...guess they figure if the adults can't have fun, why should the kids.....)

So what did I learn from being In an entirely different Jewish community? Yes kids, they are all the same....equalLy unfriendly. Now before all of you out-of-towers come at me with a should just know that I did the "experiment." "what is the experiment?" I am so glad you asked that question. The experiment is when you say hello to a fellow synagogue goer, one you do not know from a hole in the wall, and they respond to you with a look of sheer terror and astonishment and then quickly look away as if avoiding being turned to stone.(who knew I had that superpower....if only...) yes, I know, not everyone responds that way, but it made me feel better knowing that it just isn't the hungry skinny minis of my hometown that act that way....maybe that is the new friendly....who knows. I was just really happy to be with my friend and her family....and not to have put on any weight ..(see, there I go again being all positive and sunny, maybe being out of town really did make me a better person!)

Happy Monday