omg....other people know we are getting old....
So last night I reported that Ari and I were going shopping for shirts(and I am sure you have all been waiting to hear how that turned out). This was our big sat nite activity..after shirts, we were going to the gap to trade in ari's old jeans for 35% off a new pair of jeans....really, it was all very glamorous and exciting....
we went to kohls for the shirts. it pains me to admit that. Kohls. for shirts. ouch. The highlight of kohls for me was being able to use the pole to get the shirts down off the highest rack-i was even thinking of applying for a job there after that-i know how to use a pole!! so ari picked out some very lovely shirts, on sale, of course AND we had a coupon-it doesn't get any better than that.
Off to the Gap. We were on a mission.. the gap will take your old jeans, which will then be used as insulation in houses somewhere and then sell you new jeans at a discount. So we were being green and in-style...oh boy! "excuse me sir (the kid was like 12), do you have any black jeans."
"Im sorry, we haven't carried black jeans in 6 years." oh no, i thought ari was going to cry. Apparently, black jeans are not in style. so we settle for a pair of comfort-fit light blue jeans, because they looked exactly like the ones ari has now, and why mess with perfection? here is where it went downhill...fast...
"excuse me, where could i find khakis?"...and they sent us into the back. Where we came upon camoflauge pants, pants with paint stains on them, pants with strategically placed rips in them and pants that looked like they were shorts.....So the music is blasting, ari is yelling "i can't wear these...where are the regular pants??? why does all of this stuff look dirty??? who wears this??" and then, we met a nice young gap employee named Jamil...."Jamil," we pleaded...."where are the pants for older men? all of these pants look like they need to be cleaned..." Jamil informed us that lots of people buy these pants and, apparently, we have aged-out of the Gap...AGED OUT OF THE GAP (in case you didn't hear me) "but where do we go now? what store comes after the gap? Is there a store after the Gap?" Jamil looked at us with pity in his eyes and said "I think you might be happier at banana republic."
with tears streaming down our cheeks, we were escorted, in wheel chairs, out of the gap....ok, I am exagerrating....there were no wheel chairs.but it was depressing. And then I had a flashback to sara enker's sweet 16-i wore an outfit that was covered with splashes of paint-i think it was benetton...so of course if I wore something with paint on it, it would be back in style all of these years later and now, ari and i are not allowed to wear it again. how is that for being in denial about getting older?
we took ari's jeans home...fed everyone pizza (costco-2 boxes for 15 dollars!!) and were grateful for what we have....because let's face it, by the end of the week, we would have forgotten what happened anyway....
Happy Sunday
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