Monday, March 1, 2010

Monday, March 1, 2010...8 months to go...

the gym

The gym was a great invention. Even though everything we need to workout we can find in our homes or at our local parks, someone sold us a bill of goods that we need the gym. For motivation, for encouragement, to build our self-esteem and to make ourselves stronger, fitter, healthier and thinner.

Now, when I belonged to Lucille Roberts, I did feel thinner-but not because I actually was. It was because everyone else there MADE me feel thinner(because they were so large)-and that, in itself, was a great motivator. A motivator to come home and eat because hey, I am the thinnest person at my gym! (I am just kidding, I never did that...)

Nowadays, that is not the case. I will never be the thinnest person at my current gym, unless I have been stranded on an island with no food for a few months.(though, the good news, is that I am not the fattest person at my gym either, but those numbers are constantly dwindling as the fatter people either pass out, quit, or die...) But I still enjoy the machines, like the tv's and really like that it is right underneath a supermarket.

There is a gym nearby that is called The Gym..I am not allowed in that gym because there is a fat alarm that goes off when you walk into that place.(those are the rumors, I don't know for sure...but it sounds good). From what I have heard through the fatty-grapevine, there are no fat people in The Gym...none. And, the other rumor traveling through the cholesterol-laden grapevine is that not only are none of the people fat, but they have never been fat and have trouble associating with anyone that is fat. Now, I am happy to tell you that this rumor is NOT true, because I happen to be the token fat friend of several members of that gym- and I truly appreciate them taking pity on me and being my friend. So that rumor is false, but the fat-alarm rumor, I have yet to disprove-but will keep you posted. I am planning a covert mission to The Gym, where I will be dressing up as an air-conditioning repair person(because the skinny women need their air conditioning or they will pass out from the combination of no food and high caloric burn)I plan on walking right in, wearing a stylish, yet, loose fitting uniform. If the alarm does not sound, I might even consider joining.......not a chance...

Happy Monday

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