This week husband #1 and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary. Well, "celebrated" is a bit of a stretch. At 9:30 am he called me to wish me a happy anniversary and I had forgotten all about it. Truth be told, my parents made me a beautiful wedding. They spared no expense. Little did I know it was because they were selling me into white slavery. For the past 18 years, husband #1 has never done laundry, cooked a meal(for me, or himself, or his kids) and has never washed a pot, pan, dish or piece of silverware.(Lately, he has been loading and unloading the dishwasher, but that is only because I leave all the stuff out to annoy him.) This is all my fault. I was so madly in love when I married him, I just wanted to do everything for him(minds out of the gutter, please.) I wanted his mother to be so happy that her son married superwoman(who became supermom after the birth of three super kids...) Basically, the whole thing backfired and now I am just a super-cranky super-bitch. (this line has been edited for the purpose of my husband's sanity...sorry if you missed the original..)
Husband #1 has a friend, we will call him Heshy, who always tells me that I should write nice things about husband #1. So here it goes...Husband #1 is very good and kind. He goes out of his way for all of his carpool friends and tries to make things as easy for them as possible. Husband #1 is a very good father. He instills good values in his boys. Husband #1 does not complain when he gets leftovers for four nights in a row. Truth is,he can't complain because since he doesn't know how to cook, if he doesn't eat what I leave him, he has nothing for dinner(oh wait, that wasn't nice of me...but I did try.)
So a toast to husband #1...here is hoping the next 18 years are filled with only good health and happiness, enjoying the next stage of our three sons adventures. and not ending up as a story line for Law & Order..