thursday, March 4,2010

the joys of being a home owner...

When i came downstairs this morning, i heard a noise coming from the shower that we never use. It was coming from the drain. I have no idea what it was. I ran downstairs and heard water swirling around the pipes, but nothing was leaking. I ran out to the side of the house to see if it was water coming down the gutter, but all was silent (except for the annoying squirrels)..I ran back into the house and still heard the sound,( while cursing under my breath about why do i have to take care of everything in this godam house,) I called the plumber, but he didn't answer. I ran upstairs to wake up the boys. I ran back downstairs and still heard the noise...i called the plumber again, but he didn't answer. I calmly chanted "every problem has a solution, every problem as a &*&%$ solution..." took the boys to the bus, came back to the house...shhhhhhh. quiet. no noise. shhhhh. waiting for all of the pipes to explode....

A few years ago, when we did construction on the house, I told Ari that we needed the shower on the main floor. Who knows what the future holds? perhaps someone's parents will have to come live with us(does anyone out there need their parents to come live with us?), maybe god forbid, someone will break a leg a not be able to make it upstairs, we need this shower.... so we install the shower. A few weeks go by, I am in the house alone, and the shower turns on by itself-boiling hot water is coming out of the shower which no one turned on. Crap, it's my fault because I wanted the shower. Contractor comes and fixes it, didn't know why that happened "I have never seen THAT before..." never a good sign.

A few months later, it is 4 am and ari and I are leaving for the airport....the shower turns on by itself, again, boiling hot water coming out of a shower that no one turned on. Banji Villa runs downstairs and shuts the main water line off (pretty impressive...I know) leaves the contractor messages....please fix the haunted shower that I insisted on putting in. Yes, it's my fault.

About two years ago, come downstairs and the paint in the kitchen has rippled...now some people pay good money for this effect, but we did not. Shower was on all night dripping on the floor, which came through the ceiling....but then our neighbors house exploded, cracked the paint and now, we can repaint...(but, of course, we haven't-so now we have a rippled-cracked effect, very HGTV....)

Two weeks ago, the family that pukes together had a toilet situation. When one toilet would flush, the other toilet would bubble. We googled it and google told us that it means there is a serious clog and we had better take care of it. We were all afraid to flush that night, so everytime time we did, we would close our eyes and say a little prayer..morning came, plumbers came, money went out the door with the plumbers who told us "everything is fine, you people were just flushing too much at the same time." Thank you Einstein and Isaac Newton....

The american dream is to own a home. I can understand this, I love my home, the boys love their home....but homes should not be sold to clueless jews who have no idea how to fix things....it is all a big mystery to me....But i will continue to appreciate the fact that I have a home and pray that the shower doesn't start making that noise again....


Happy Thursday