Wednesday, September 29, 2010

wednesday september 29, 2010

another "then and now" blog...

first things first...son #1 will be 14 on friday...i cannot even believe it, but what makes me happy is that, despite being 14 years older, 14 years ago i weighed close to 250 pounds- unfortunately, i kid you not...and as low as my self esteem is, i look pretty darn good now compared to 14 years ago...son #1 has only gained 67 pounds since he was that either means i deprive my child of proper nutrition or DAM does that kid have a great metabolism!!(something that he did not inherit from me...clearly...)

another friend deva and i used to spend many a single simchat torah together, and now, we are spending a married-with-children simchat torah together in beautiful chicago, illinois. and though i loved going to dayton, it makes me so happy to see her back in a community that has, well, kosher restaraunts.....(food-that is what is important because food is love.)

though our conversations will be much different now than they were when we were single...

"he is kind've cute..i wonder what he does for a living"

"do i really have to share a room with husband #1??"

"ok..lets walk 40 blocks to so and so's apartment so we can see who is there and then, we can cut through the park and see who is hanging out there...."

"please tell me we can be asleep before 9 tonight...."

"so i have an outfit for the morning which i will wear with the shoes with wedges and then i have that dress i can wear with the boots and then i brought....."

"is it ok if i wear the same thing to shul all three days?"

but it is all good, because we both look exactly the same to eachother (and probably our husbands) and all is right with the world.....

happy wednesday

Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday,September 27 2010

It's all my fault part deux...

I told son #2 that it would be a fabulous idea to go to Hershey park today...even convinced a bunch of his friends to go with him...I am not winning any mother of the year awards from that kid anytime was I to know that it would rain all. Day. Long...

My dad was supposed to take son#1, son#3 and me to the met game tonight....of course it is my fault that we can't go because it is still raining...I am a terrible person..I am sorry...

What is not my fault, that I know for certain(I hope) is that ari's grandmother died Friday night. bubba Katie was one of four sisters...her maiden name was wallach and that is why son #3's middle name is pay tribute to the family name that wasn't able to be passed on. She was an incredibly strong woman who was able to pick herself up after her husband died and support herself and her sons...send them through med school, college...she was an awesome woman. The last few years of her life had not been the most desirable..she wasn't able to see or walk very well, but she never complained (though she did ask my boys how their sister was so they knew she wasn't entirely herself)

May her special neshama have an Aliyah.....and i would like to thank her for telling god to postpone tonights mets game so now the boys aren't so disappointed..

Happy monday

Sunday, September 26, 2010

sunday september 26, 2010

best almost birthday EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my sweet 16 was awesome. great dj in my parents basement. the invitaions looked like 45's- those are small record albums for those of you who think 45's are 45 year old people.... and records, well, just google it for godsake, google will explain to you what a record is...all of my friends were there, good food(of course) and i got my first real, real kiss from my high school boyfriend, under the apple tree, in my parents was just like a john hughes movie(you can google him too, god rest his talented soul) it was the perfect evening.

then came the 1 month before my 26th birthday, when i gave birth to son #1...he was the best birthday present...he made me a mom and changed my life forever and for the better....

but last night....oh, last night, sorry son #1...last night....i got kissed by my real, true boyfriend...that is right, Rick Springfield kissed me and wished me a happy birthday...i was having such heart palpitations that i thought i was going to drop dead of sheer, pure, blissful, joyful,happiness.....i felt a little bad for the guy because he kissed the top of my head, which after the three-day holiday was not smelling like fresh coconuts...but i will not be washing that part of my head for a very very long time. (totally kidding about that, btw, which stands for by-the-way for those of you who knew what a 45 was.....)

it was the best night ever...and now, when i go see my boyfriend at his book-signing in ridgewood on October 13th(his book, late late and night comes out on October 12th for those of you who are interested...yes, i know that NONE of you are interested, but, a girl can try to promote her boyfriend's work..)...we can continue where we left off....sorry husband #1, but this is all your were the one who arranged it all!!!!!

happy happy sunday

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

tuesday september 21,2010

its all my fault

part of the joy of being a mom is taking responsibility that everything is my fault.

"but i dont like the blue pants..."
-my fault

"my computer isnt working"
-my fault

"i cant find the piece of paper with my homework on it"
-my fault

"he is being annoying"
-my fault

"why did the viking/rams/panthers lose??"
-totally my fault as i am the scout for all of those teams....

why do the mets keep losing?"
-so not my fault...that one i cant claim as my own....

it is always nice to start out a beautiful sunny day with everything being my fault. it is a great responsibility being so powerful.....

fortunately...when i show up at 6:30 with son #1's goalie equipment, he will give me a big smile and hopefully forget about all of the horrible things in his life that are my fault....

Happy Thursday

want to take this opportunity to officially welcome Isaac Rand Freilich into this world....named after my grandfather Isidore Irving Freilich-sweetest man ever to walk this earth.....may Isaac grow up with all of the wonderful attributes that his namesake had.....

Monday, September 20, 2010

monday september 20, 2010

so easy..even a child could do it...unless they are sitting on the couch watching football....

the jewish holidays are the most wonderful time of year...we get together with family and friends(or friends that we like more than our family)..we eat good food(noodles and chicken nuggets)...we go to synagogue for meaningful prayer services and enlightening speeches(or hear the latest non-gossip from our neighbor, because gossiping would be bad....)...we joyously spend lots of time, energy and money at various supermarkets, butchers, fruit stores and really is a special time.

especially the whole hut/sukkah building thing. there have been times when i make fun of husband #1, but this time of year...well, this time of year is when we do our best non-communicating. god has blessed me with three sons...all of whom seem to take after their fault, i know, but hopefully we will work on changing that. thank god for our friend, our friend with four daughters, who comes to our house every year to put up our sukkah. one year, husband #1 thought he would "woo" me by actually PAYING some kids to do it...that was a nightmare. more than a nightmare...and then our friend had to come anyway to fix the mess.....but, i won't be getting into the building part anymore...

yesterday's weather was beautiful. it is supposed to be like that all week. this might only be a problem because while trying to decorate the sukkah, it was soo hot in there that either i was having the greatest hottest hot flash of all time, or, i am going to be serving my company ice cream, ices and just plain ice HOLY COW WAS IT HOT IN THERE!!!!!!!!! i had to stop decorating, which was a good thing because, frankly, my sukkah decorating totally sucks...i thought i would be clever and use the leftover animals from son #1's bar mitza..but it ended up looking like a slaughterhouse in there....painfully horrible...i will not be winning any decorating awards this year(or any year, for that matter) but son #2 promised me we would make chains this week.....and i have fond memories of staying up late with my brother and making those same chains because our parents would let us watch tv that night....good times...

no more babbling...enjoy the holidays

happy monday...

Friday, September 17, 2010

friday september 17, 2010

keep my fingers crossed...

tonight begins yom kippur, the day of atonement....i am so screwed.

dear god...please forgive me for being me, most of the time. please forgive me for being so moody with my kids that they have already told me that they aren't marrying anyone who is moody (ha ha ha...good luck with that boys, we all seem pleasant all the time in the beginning...but then you all seem perfect at the time too so that is life...)please forgive me for talking bad about others, even if it is true, but also please recognize that i never pretend to be someone who i am not, and i refuse to be nice to people who i really dont that really so wrong?!?!

but most importantly, please dont hold my actions against my parents, my sibling, my husband or my children or the friends that i do really like(which changes from day to day, but you are god and you know who i am talking about...) and grant them all a year filled with only good health, and good things. and, if you could include me in that also, i would soooo appreciate it..isn't it enough that i am turning 40?!?!?!?!?!?!?

easy fast and a gmar tov to all...

happy friday

Thursday, September 16, 2010

thursday september 16,2010

this blog is intended for mature audiences only...viewer discretion is advised.

lets face it...i have 6 1/2 more weeks of this blog. i will be freakin 40 years old in 6 1/2 weeks and i must be honest with myself...i am starting to look it. though, i think when i look in my mirror, i am still 16, when i see my reflection in mirrors elsewhere, i am one, tired, graying, sorry looking broad....and there isn't a thing i can do about it. i go to sleep early, and wake up in the middle of the night without the ability to fall back asleep, it is really and truly pathetic. i am counting down the weeks to vegas, and hope i can muster the energy to stay up past 11 each night that i am there...(who am i kidding, i am not really worried about vegas...)on to the topic at hand...

some friends of mine were having a discussion about boobs.(where did that come from??) fashion designers seem to favor women with smaller boobs and then those women (of course) look better in their, my mantra for the past few years has been "i dont care how big they are, as long as they are healthy." being a mom of boys i have always been careful what i wear around the house because, lets be honest, they do hang low and they do wobble too and fro and no one needs to be seeing that....where do they end and my stomach begins?? oh my....

when i was younger, i remember my sister reading me a test from one of her magazines-mademoiselle, glamour..i dont remember which one(though i do remember that i wasn't allowed to touch the magazine...the fact that she let me into her room at all was quite the little miracle so i just stood and followed the instructions she gave me...)i could not have been older than 13 at the time and the the two of us took the "boob test." according to this scientific article, if you place a pencil underneath your boob and it fell to the floor well, you were perky and in great shape. i was so happy when that pencil fell to the floor....and now, with 6 1/2 weeks til 40, i could hide one of those costco size packages of crayons under there and they would stay safe and sound and warm....ya, no more passing the perky test. but, i am a H U GE fan of the underwire.....(huge, no pun intended....)

this getting old thing...everything heads downward...your hair falls out, creases form, you try to stand up straight but there are things on your body pulling you down down try to keep smiling you so dont get frown lines, but then you develop wrinkles from neck starts heading down, and the list goes on and on and on.....

but, what is the alternative? i might be saggy, but i saved ari THOUSANDS of dollars on baby formula by doing it the natural way(ugg too much information...when will she stop? MAKE HER STOP....) i will take each day as it comes and embrace the gift of having that day.....i will smile at strangers and say good morning, even when they look at me like the crazy person that i am.....and i will thank god for all of the miracles in my life.....and wear supportive undergarments...amen.

happy thursday

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

wednesday september 15,2010

yet another - you know you are getting older when-....

last night was open school night. i like to be positive and compare open school night to open heart surgery, open wound care, open brain i said, all far, son #3 seems to have them all fooled, but that isnt what this is going to be about...

you know you are getting older when you finally fit into the desks in your kids class room....(or i have just lost more weight than i thought...)no more of those little chairs when you have to contort yourself to keep your legs together because you have to wear skirts to these lovely shindings...

you know you are getting older when some of the parents in the classroom look like they should be in fourth grade with your kid...who are these parents and why dont they have any wrinkles? or gray?

you know you are getting old when you see that you are going to be out after 8 pm and the thought of that makes you tired...would it be really that bad if i showed up in my pajamas????

you know you are getting old when the teacher looks so young that you ask to see their diploma to make sure they really graduated high school...forget about college-can these teachers drive yet??

you know you are getting old when you keep blogging about getting old....

happy wednesday

happy birthday to my late grandmother, sylvia. she would have been 97 today. i would like to thank her for my hair, for my son #2's cute nose and for my lack of editing mechanism...and most importantly, for my dad......

Monday, September 13, 2010

monday september 13, 2010

and there go the rugelach....

this is a sad blog, with a sprinkling of humor. mrs. cooper died today. this is sad on many levels, the first being that mr cooper died less than a year ago, the second being that she was a really lovely lady and the third being that she leaves behind three very sad children, 14 very sad grandchildren and several great-grandchildren who will never have the joy of really knowing either of these wonderful people. though it isn't my job to eulogize them, the reason i speak of them is because they were my next door neighbors in fair lawn for my whole life, well, the life before the life i have now. they watched me grow up, get married,made sheva brachot for me, have kids...they had the spare key for when i was locked out of the house when my mom would take my sister shopping and forget about me....good neighbors and really good people.

though there are many things i could write about mrs cooper, i have to take this opportunity to write about her rugelach. her crunchy, scrumptious cinnamon rugelach..some had raisins, some did not...they were magical. i would have to sneak in as many as i could before anyone noticed because mrs cooper was in cohoots with my mom about me being chubby and not eating so much. so i would have to secretly place my hand under the saran wrapped dish and grap what i could before being discovered. but the rugelach i was "allowed" to eat at dessert time...those i would savor. i would bite along the pattern where they were rolled and enjoy every morsel....and their house always smelled liked baked goods.....what could be bad....unfortunately, no one has the recipe. I would joke about it with her daughter and daughters in law....but it is no where to be found.. may the angels in heaven enjoy them as much as i did.....

baruch dayan emet.

happy monday

Sunday, September 12, 2010

sunday september 12, 2010

oh what a religion.....

i know it is a faith based religion, i know that we are not supposed to question, i know i know i know....but, i would like to discuss the concept of tashlich. For any readers who do now know what this is, tashlich is when we go to a body of water on the first day of the jewish new year celebration and we "throw away" our sins into the water....fresh start for a new year. This has always been a social situation, going back to even when my mom was young and she would tell me that you would find all of your dates for the year at tashlich (meeting men, throwing away your sins...its all the same...)Now, of course, it becomes a situation where i see people that i dont like or dont want to talk to and i accumulate even more sins that i have to dispose of..i just cant win....

anyway, in years past, we would come with our stale challah bread and use those pieces as our sins....throwing the bread into the water and watching the ducks come and eat our transgressions. well, apparently, someone from the wildlife foundation was not happy about its animals eating the sins of jews around the world and the rabbis came out with an edict that you can no longer throw bread, because it makes the animals work and that is prohibited on the holiday. OH MY FREAKIN LORD.....isnt it enough that i would have to lug around 500 pounds of bread to cover all of my sins....and now, what am i supposed to throw? rocks? will that kill the ducks? why can't anyone work with me on this....if i am going to hell anyway, can't i be nice and feed some animals along the way?

just add it to the list of questions i will never have an answer to....but happy and healthy new year to all...

happy sunday

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

tuesday september 7,2010

the good old days......

remember when it was time for the jewish holidays and all you had to worry about was which new outfit you were going to wear? when you dreaded the long services and were always thinking of new excuses to walk out, but knew exactly when to come back in in order to avoid getting in trouble with your parents? remember when the only thoughts of the new year were which new fruit you were going to try and how much challah and honey you could eat?...ya, those were good times...

and now, all these years later and older, seriously, how i am doing all of this cooking when 1. my kids only have 7 hours of school this week 2. my family doesnt eat anything exciting or having to do with the holiday theme ie, honey cake, honey anything, apple cake, apple anything-you get the point.3.mickey and minnie are living in my house and i am afraid of the kitchen....3.worrying about what the new year will bring-disease, death, destruction or, will it be happiness, healthiness and successful weight loss? 4. is the person sitting next to me in synagogue this year someone who likes me or someone who will give me dirty looks for wearing the same outfits i wore last year (and the year before and so on and so on and so on....)5. if i wear a doiley on my head instead of a hat, will my fate for the new year be different? 6. will i actually drop dead on my 40th birthday because i will "die from the anticipation?" 7. will my kids be ok? 8. will my parents be ok? 9. will tuition go up again because i didn't pray hard enough?

crap, life was better when all i had to worry about was my mom not catching me sneaking my favorite cookies out of the box from the bakery before company showed up.....

here is wishing all of us a happy and healthy new year, filled with ONLY good things..and preferably no rodents...yuck yuck yuck......

happy tuesday

Monday, September 6, 2010

monday, september 6,2010

taboo subjects.

there are many things people dont like to talk about. eating disorders, psychiatric disorders, marital problems(ok, well some of us like to talk about those), issues with our in laws or siblings, lice and mice.

well, my name is banji and i have mice, well, a mouse, or two. son #1 thought he saw one when i was in maryland, so husband #1 bought some "have a heart" mouse traps. I noticed some, yuck, mouse poop on shabbos, we set the traps. we called the exterminator...he came today and i said "well, we set the traps, but didn't catch anything..." and then mike the exterminator looked in the traps and said "did you put anything in these traps?" oh my god...the mice ate the cheese and the traps didn't work. Husband #1 bought crappy traps...they must have been on now, not only do we know that mickey is living in the house, he is well fed!!!!!!!!!!!!! we totally suck!!!

so mike located the source of mickey, and possibly minnie(who, according to google has a gestational period of 18-21 days...yuck, yuck and double yuck) set some traps and is coming back tomorrow morning. "what time works for you?" he asked "ANYTIME YOU WANT TO COME I WILL BE HERE!!!!!".....i certainly hope that will be the end of mickey and minnie because if i have one more mouse nightmare...yuck yuck yuck

hope this won't deter anyone from marrying my sons.....(because apparently i will be enough of a deterrant....)

happy monday

Friday, September 3, 2010

friday september 3, 2010

serenity now...SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the serenity prayer is, in my opinion, an awesome mantra...

god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change (kids who dont like to do homework, kids who cant understand why i am still sticking to the "no tv during school" rule(man, it has only been two days, give me a freking break), kids who dont like anything i cook for them, husbands who...well....must i go into that?)

the courage to change the things i can (i can adopt new kids, i can stop talking to more people who annoy me and are full of crap, i can change my hair color since i have so many new bald spots from pulling out the undesirable hair color, i can lose weight if i dont eat after 6 pm, i can get a new husband(kidding, ha ha ha?)

and the wisdom to know the difference....ya, that is the line i have trouble with. I managed NOT to lose my temper when son #3 insisted that i didn't know what a ram's horn was made from-dude it is called a RAM's horn....and not because they play for the i am not a total idiot...but, i DID lose my temper at son #2 when he started bothering son #3...and i really lost it...god grant me the serenity to not turn into psycho mom and alienate my children....maybe i will just keep repeating that one.

happy friday

Thursday, September 2, 2010

thursday september 2, 2010...less than 2 months to go


though we think we are in control of things, we really aren't. Is that why we tend to count down to things instead of counting up? counting down to when school starts, counting down to when camp starts (and then when it ends...) to joyous occasions? Because we know when those things is the things we dont know about, that we dont know when they will happen, those are the things that scare us-and because of that, that is probably why we have no count down to them.

I was thinking these thoughts because son #1 starts high school today. I remember when i started high blouse, plaid jumper that had detachable straps so it could be worn as a skirt as well(very fashionable in 1984) and though i tried to have the hair cut where you could basically flip the sides of your hair back, i had curly hair so it looked more like i had wings...but i tried and that was during my week of being a size 6 (as i had grown several inches that summer...)it was all good and all exciting. But as several people have said to me, and i had said to my friend when her son started high school(and now he already is a , gasp, junior) the next 4 years F L Y by.....i even said that to son #1-though the next four years might feel S L OW..(ie bio, chemistry , physics..oh my) before you know are packing for your year in israel and i am crying all the time(instead of just some of the while i am writing this.)

i will not be counting down these next 4 years...i will be savoring them...because i am fully aware that having sons DOES mean having to say goodbye (unless they prove me wrong. pleasepleaseplease)...though, i will be counting down to camp again, when they come home and dont want to do their homework, and dont want to eat the dinner i made for them, and dont help clean off the table...etc etc etc

here's wishing all of our kids a healthy, productive(though not reproductive if they are still in high school, no matter how happy bristol palin seems to be) and HAPPY year......

happy thursday