Friday, April 27, 2012

My life as a sports metaphor....4/27/12

Last night was a big night in our home. Rangers won their game 7, which made husband #1 and son #3 happy and then the Devils won their game 7, which made the rest of the family happy. Problem was, the Devils game went into double overtime and didn't end until after midnite. So while husband #1 tiptoed(stomped, tiptoed, same thing..)out of this house at 630 this morning, evil mom had to deal with "the morning after"...(which takes on a whole new meaning in this saga...)and wake the boys for school. We will call this the 3 on 1 power play. Not pretty. I was a bad mom for making them go to school, even though I was a good mom for letting them stay up. Wait, I was a bad mom for letting them stay, I was good...until this morning...the boys tried to kill time in this power play, but I was victorious and everyone got to school on time. But not before I became the irate player on the ice, who starts yelling at the ref and you can see all of the bad words he is saying on tv because they have yet to learn to edit that...that was me. I'm not proud to admit it, but mom dropped the f bomb several times during the power game 7, you've got to do what you've got to do. I even started with the "if you don't get your f$&@& asses out here, you are never watching another playoff game for the rest of the season." really? Did I really need to say that? The team knows that all they have to do is give me a hug and a smile and they are off the bench. I'd be a really crappy coach..hopefully, I'm a better mom...maybe they'll get me a Stanley cup for mothers day. Or a whistle... Happy Friday and may all of your penalty kills be successful...

Saturday, April 21, 2012

saturday, april 21, 2012

the circle of life.. So i survived the passover holiday. Everyone got along..i only yelled at my mom once, god forgive me, and now everything is put away like it never happened. That is what life is like. We prepare, we worry, we celebrate, we cry, we laugh...good things happen, bad things happen and then the sun sets and rises and it all starts again the next day. I tried to explain to my kids that the really cool thing about all of these holidays we celebrate is that it connects us to all of the generations before us. Thousands of years ago, our relatives were also yelling at their spouses about not helping wash the dishes..thousands of years ago, our relatives were also complaining that there was nothing to do at the hotel they were staying at- oh wait, i dont think there were any passover programs back then, but im sure there were spouses yelling at each other..that is a part of history that keeps repeating itself.. Though i cant imagine it was as easy to kosher your kitchen for passover back then as it is now..hooray for progress. I told each of my boys to please help clear the table after each meal. They looked at me and said "of course, mom (snicker snicker..and when i write snicker i mean the sound of someone snickering, not the chocolate bar-if they had each given me a snickers, it might've taken the sting out of their snickering..)" The only boy who actually did help clear the table was husband #1...that's right folks, a passover miracle in the land of Teaneck. And speaking of miracles, I made my "key" challah for shabbos...for those of you who dont know what i am talking about, since we are not a religion that is superstitious, on the shabbos after passover, if you put a key in your challah, you are supposed to be blessed with financial gains...So i wrapped the key in the tin foil, put the piece of tinfoil in the dough and baked the challah. When we ate it, we found the foil...but the key was gone. This, i must say, was very unnerving...what does that mean?? Who took my key?? Will i be on food stamps this year?? Will i win the lottery this year?? WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN?? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KEY?? I was thinking of asking my rabbi about this, but he would probably just say that i shouldnt be baking challah with a key to begin with..and that answer would just not be helpful. So I will just think positive thoughts about the whole thing(something i am not great at...yes, i know what you are thinking...) May we all be blessed with good health and financial gains this year... Happy Saturday night...

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

wednesday april 4, 2012

why passover is like having your first baby.
an essay in sleep deprivation and crankiness
by, banji d. latkin-ganchrow

T minus 72 hours until the big passover festival. As i have said before, i have not been able to complain or ask for help in these preparations because it is my decision to stay home and be with my family, since last year, we were the only ganchrow representatives who kept my in laws company at the granit. Husband #1 and his offsprings have been all-to-happy to accommodate my requests so, needless to say, cocktails have been coming in quite handy and all of the checkout gals at stop in shop, shoprite, fairway and pathmark know my name...but in getting ready for this week of tradition, it hit me, that getting ready for this holiday, is like getting ready for your first born(hence the title). How? you may ask(but probably arent because you are either packing to go away or cleaning to stay home..) here is my analysis.

When you find out you are pregnant, you have months to prepare. You read those stupid books that usually end up scaring the crap out of you, you watch "a baby story" on tlc, which usually ends up scaring the crap out of get weighed in at the doctor every month(see where i am going with this?) but you have almost 9 months to prepare(10 months if you were pregnant with son #1)...but cant really get the rest you need because of the heartburn, alien kicking you from the inside, etc..And you have your spouse who gives you words of encouragement, takes you to lamaze(where you almost get thrown out because of the bickering), helps you around the house(this, of course, is all in theory..) But with all the time you have before this miraculous event occurs, once that adorable little sucker pops out(or is vacuumed out, or surgically removed..take your pick) you are ON!! On, i say, no more trying to sleep, there is no sleep. Your boobs become soda dispensers and you are on....But, of course, you have your supportive spouse who opts to go to work the next day because he is just not equipped to deal with this and the poor baby needs his rest...and im not talking about the actually baby...

When preparing for passover, you have weeks to make your lists, do your shopping, cooking and cleaning(and screaming at those who mess up what you just cleaned, but, whatever.) You research where cream cheese is cheapest(fairway-1.50 for 8 oz container) how many free 5 pound boxes of matzo you can fit into your house(is 50 pounds really too much for one week?), try to figure out why dixie cups are almost 16 dollars for 12?!?!(unless you get them at fairway for 9.99, but only two packs, which means there will be fighting amongst the troops when it comes to eating them and if husband #1 thinks he is getting any, he sadly mistaken...) And then, of course, while you are doing all of this and cooking, you have to sympathize with your friends who dont know how many t shirts to bring with them to florida and man, if they have to go to target one more time for flip flops they are just going to lose it!!(boo hoo hoo)
And then, in the blink of an eye...passover is here and you pray that there isn't a bag of oreos in the coffee table because then your psycho husband wont let anyone into the family room...because once its here, you are ON! it didnt matter how long you had to are on-trying to figure out how to make crushed pieces of matza taste like stuffing...and then, in the blink of the other eye, its over and you have one night to undo all of the work you have been doing over many all goes back to its home in the basement until next time.

OK, that is where passover and having your first child differ, you cant put the baby in the basement until the next time, because that would be very wrong...but i hope you got my point(which, i hope there was one, and not just my usual incessant ramblings..)

I wish you all a happy and healthy holiday, wherever you are. Take the time to appreciate your family(even though you might kill them and chalk it up to the four cups of wine)appreciate your hard work(unless you are away, and then appreciate who ever paid for it..) and thank god for all of your blessings...

Happy Wednesday