Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday July 29,2011

What do we really know anyway...

With all the boys out of the house, and no one to parent, except for husband #1, we decided to go to a parenting lecture entitled " how to discipline your kids without yelling screaming or bribing." truthfully, I didn't know there was any other way besides medicating or inebriating(which would be wrong on so many levels). So off to the lecture we went...the saying may go "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" but I was hopeful that with good refreshments and a little encouragement, you never know.

Boy, was I wrong. No refreshments. A room full of parents that haven't reached puberty yet- so I'm not even sure how they are parents and a lecturer with an agenda. She didn't really want to make me a better parent for free, she wanted to make me a better parent for the low low price of 149.99 plus shipping and handling...CDs, cassettes or vhs. This is what I came out in the pouring rain for? I could've stayed home and watched the middle on the dvr-now that is real parenting. None of this "the consequence should reflect the action" bulldoody...if one brother hits the other brother, taking his computer away for a month is a perfectly logical consequence.

Then she told me that if I speak nicely to my good friends, why would I scream at my children when they are more precious to me. A lightbulb went on over my head-hey, she's right, I should be nicer to my kids because they ARE more precious to me. But then it dawned on me that I'm not even that nice to my friends so I'm really screwed. My poor's a good thing we take them on baseball trips or they would never love me....ok, I exaggerate, they do love me, because I'm the only mom that believes that fruit by the foot is a healthy snack...

Happy Friday

Monday, July 25, 2011

Monday July 26,2011

It all began with a dream...

I started this blog because I wanted a place to bitch and moan about getting old, hitting the milestone of forty...comparing the fluffiness and fun of the eighties, to the life of an almost middle aged housewife....good times. I've mentioned many "firsts at 40", well, today was first physical at 40.

When you went to the doctor when you were little, gaining weight and growing was fun and exciting...not so much now. Fortunately, the nurse trusted me to tell her my weight without actually getting on the scale...I told her the truth, more or less(or less) but then she took my blood pressure which was really high because I was so scared she would make me get on the I took a normal bmi but got high blood pressure.(fortunately, she took it again and it was back down to normal...normal being a relative term for anything involving me...)

The doctor came in and the real fun began. She was lovely and we had a wonderful, honest conversation..which was refreshing. And after the conversation, she still didn't put me on mood disorder medication, which was a relief....but you can only fool some of the people some of the after we talked and I had my exam I was given a prescription for blood work, a chest xray( you are forty now, always good to have a baseline) and an envelope with an adorable little test kit for my...poop. Less invasive than a colonoscopy, but really? I have to send poop in the mail? I feel bad for the poor schmuck who has to open those envelopes....and then she told me to take calcium and vitamin d, just like the old ladies in the geritol commercials....fantastic, frail and forty.

Hope I don't break a hip on the way to the pharmacy.....

Happy monday

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sunday, July 24,2011

Week three and four in review..

It seems that I have over looked blogging about two weeks of my summer. Has the suspense been killing you? Have you been lying awake at night wondering what I have been doing to pass my time? No? You haven't? It's ok because since I'm so old, I can't really remember what I've been pathetically sad....but I know I'm having a great time, I think. I've cleaned out several closets...been to many movies-some good(horrible bosses) some not so good(Larry crowne). Eaten at some good restaurants(deli kasbah) and some not so good(smokey is that place still open? The barbecue brisket is still repeating itself(another joy of getting old))...embraced the heat and walked about 40 miles this past week...(and yet, I always end up in the same place...) and now I'm preparing for week 5.

The summer is flying by...hope you are all enjoying yourselves..

Happy sunday

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Thursday July 21,2011

Man it's hot out....

Yesterday, I spent a lovely day in new York city. I decided it was time to see the alexander McQueen exhibit at the met. For those of you who don't know who he is, he was a famous fashion designer who, unfortunately, killed himself. Being the fashionista that I am, I sauntered(waddled) into the museum in my new loubitans(crocs) wearing a pucci(macys) frock after just having my hair done by Vidal sasoon(is that guy even around anymore??)

What I wasn't expecting was the 45 minute line to see this exhibit...I began to wonder if Alexander was brought back to life and that's why it was so crowded. I passed the time by people watching, and after I had determined how many women were fatter that me(unfortunately, it was a very skinny day at the met...)I realized that the museum people has snaked the line through the Mesopotamia exhibit....why haven't you heard of that? Because that is the part of the museum that everyone just walks through to get to the better it made me feel a little better that even though I was the fattest on line, at least the skinny minis were giving Mesopotamia a chance....

When finally entering the exhibit, I was disappointed to see that keeping us on a line had nothing to do with making the exhibit less crowded-it was wall to wall people...and I don't do well with that. My spin bike has to be in Siberia so I have plenty of personal space-us big gals need our breathing room...... I quickly looked at all of his pieces-I must say, very impressive, I'm surprised chicos hasn't copied any of his work-some of his skirts got pretty wide at the hip area...but all in all, it just made me sad that with as many people he had in his life, he still felt lonely enough to end it. Perhaps hanging out with skinny models is not the best idea for any of us.....lesson learned.

Happy thursday

Sunday, July 17, 2011

sunday july 17, 2011

dont be a hater....

Some people go on decadent vacations...the ritz carlton..the four seasons..the waldorf. Please dont be jealous, but i am blogging to you live from the Courtyard by Marriot in Kingston, Ny. Not only is this luxurious hotel nestled between a target and an applebees BUT, since the elevator is broken and we had to walk up 17 flights to our room(I exagerrate..poetic license..) we are getting a COMPLIMENTARY COLD BREAKFAST tomorrow...please, as i said before, dont be jealous. You too can get a free night at this lovely resort. After i finish writing this short masterpiece, we will be swimming in the pool(indoor) and then watching a movie in our room. Oh wait, they dont have pay per view so we will be watching a lifetime original movie-hope it has tori spelling in it...

so another week has gone was visiting day and i have to say, poo poo poo, it went very well. The boys did not start fighting until we were together for over an hour....miraculously, an angel at lake como pizza was related to the owner and saved us a very very long wait for pizza(god bless people from maine) i tried a lovely flavor of ice cream at dj's(something white chocolate and rasberry...very tasty...) and a good time was had by all. Then we barbqued with good friends(well, the friends barbqued and i ate...something i am very good at) and now, as you know, i am basking in the moonlite in kingston...not to be confused with the moonlight bungalow that I basked in all weekend-which was very enjoyable, but we will delve into that subject another time...for now...i am going to spend quality time with husband number one and will be dreaming of the possibilities of what will be served to me for breakfast.....

happy sunday

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wednesday July 13,2011

Never ask why.....

Couldn't let today go by without writing something. In a world where so many bad, tragic, horrible things happen, we are never supposed to ask why. Innocent kids get sick..go through painful treatments..some live, some die and we are supposed to have faith and not question.

Poor leiby but poor leiby's mom...she is going to ask why....probably every day for the rest of her life-how could she not? How is she supposed to have faith? Where is that going to come from? If anyone has an answer to that, I would love to hear it.

May leiby's neshamah have an Aliyah and may we all remember how sick we feel about what happened to him the next time we start screaming at our kids......

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Sunday july 10,2011

Week two in review...

Bed bugs are a big pet peeve of mine, I'm a little too familiar with the bed bug registry website(especially with all the classy motel 6's and red roof inns we stay at on our baseball trips) so nothing made me happier than receiving the email from the boys camp exclaiming "bed bugs are here" color war or uncle moishey...fortunately, alls well that ends well and the camp handled it very professionally and effeciently. Of course I will not be letting the boys back into their home, but that's another story and we won't be telling them just yet...

The Brooklyn did not collapse under my weight-I had been worried when I read it was a suspension never know. Went on the subway-and even though I might dress like I live in a subway tunnel, I am not a fan. Came home and washed the grime off. Good news, we actually shared this adventure with another couple...something we rarely do because even though lots of people read my blog, not many of those people like a big shout out to our friends from the island of long for possibly committing social suicide by hanging with us..we won't mention your names to protect your identity.

Dancing to the 80's at Lincoln center...awesome. Felt like I was at a sweet 16 for really big losers but it was so much fun. The reason why husband #1 and I are still together(possibly the only reason) is because we can make each other one another, at the group of people wearing neon outfits(very 80s) at the 6"5 man wearing a long brown's all good....

And the weekend....we could not agree on what to do so on this beautiful sunny day, husband #1 is napping on the couch because I made him walk to and from lunch(less than 3 a glacial place) I told him that I wouldn't make fun of him, but all I can say is thank god he wasn't part of the Jews crossing the desert because it would not have ended well for him....enough said.

Hope you are all enjoying your summer

Happy sunday

Monday, July 4, 2011

Monday July 4,2011

Week in review

My boys camp sends out a video at the end of the week to point out the I am unable to make an actual video, this will be my version of "my boys are away for 7 1/2 weeks and I'm left at home with husband #1" week one.(there is music in the background of the camp video, so pick favorite eighties tune and let your imagination run wild)

Take boys to the bus, son #1 remembers he left the value pack of frozen hot dogs in the freezer(which I told him not to buy because I'm pretty sure they have food in camp) husband #1 hops in the car and successfully delivers the hot dogs before the bus pulls away(to the tune of the theme to the lone ranger)

Two beautiful weddings, totally different, but what united both was that this fat chick noticed they have gotten rid of the margarine option next to the bread. Olive oil, yes, tomato salad thing, yes...but no transfat,down to earth really bad for your arteries margarine. Yes, I'm aware that I'm the only one who noticed it and yes, I'm aware that the skinny folk wouldn't even noticed if they got rid of the bread, but I'm making a plea to the caterers out there-bring back my little pretty shaped pat of margarine. Thank you and may all of the wishes of the happy couples come true.

Husband #1 lost his philharmonic virginity....he didn't even fall asleep...priceless

Weekend-great food, great conversations...but the highlight, was receiving a text from son #1 asking for detergent. Detergent? Is it still being used to clean clothes? Have teenage boys found something new to do with detergent because I'm pretty sure that my kids haven't a clue what to do with it. Should I be hopeful that son #1 will come home with a new skill? (yes, I know the answer...but I sent him some anyway..of course)

But in truth, the best part of week one was watching the Yankees NOT sweep the Mets...I know my priorities after all....

Happy monday