and you wonder why i have so many issues....
i have had a very tough two days. it started on friday when my kids, all three of them(i guess i should be thankful that i wasn't able to have more because then this would have been even worse) kept telling me what a terrible mother i am...i curse at them, i hit them, i yell at them, i am so mean, i am so horrible...and on and on and on. Really? am i the worst mom? are there no moms worse than i am?? on crack perhaps? are those moms still better than me??
are they just realizing that i am totally clueless? are they just realizing that i curse all the time INSTEAD of hitting them in the head with a baseball bat when they start fighting with eachother....STOP FIGHTING AND TORTURING EACHOTHER AND I WILL BE KIND AND WARM AND LOVING ALL THE $%^$%$ TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel much better now.
this weekend i was lucky enough to celebrate the 23rd annniversary of my brother's bar mitzva. my brother, the favorite. i am not just saying that...he is the favorite. here is an example of how i know this....my mom called me this week to tell me what she was making for the weekend, "well, Jed is coming, so i am making crunchy chicken(chicken with corn flakes), veal, potato kugel, chicken cutlets(for my sister-in-law), turkey..because you know Jed loves turkey..."
"hey mom," i say..."ummm..you know that i am coming too-right? i really like your pot roast..."
"well, if you want pot roast, that means i have to go back to the butcher and get you a roast, i never know if they are going to have the cut that i want...dont you like veal?" no, that's jed. "dont you like crunchy chicken?" no, that's jed....(you get where this conversation is going....oh, for the record, i made meatballs so ari would have something to eat, i made a deli roll so son #1 would have something to eat...everyone had something but poor, deprived Banji. story of my life.)
Now my brother will tell you that he has every right to be the favorite...but COME ON....i am almost 40..wont someone love me best?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
i need to take a zanax...screw it, i am going for the coconut rum.