Hello. And welcome to my very own piece of narcissism...
So this past weekend my rabbi gave a speech on parenting. We are supposed to be parents and not friends (oops, didn't get the memo on that one.) We are supposed to know how to say "no" (missed that memo as well.) There are two different "staffs" of parenting...the staff of pleasantness and the staff of destruction. I was hoping there would be a third staff, my staff of choice, the staff of Moodiness. Because depending on my moodiness, that is what determines how i parent. For example, we went to a bar mitzva last night, it was so nice and warm with good food and good friends, and while we were at this bar mitzva, matthew, the youngest, was at a sleepover. He went on a sleepover because he is afraid to be left home with his brothers, as they tend to enjoy scaring him(dont ask...) anyway, we come home from the bar mitzva a little before midnight, ari is watching sports with the boys, I go up into bed and begin reading my book and...the phone rings. Phone ringing at midnight is usually not a good thing. With trepidation, I pick up the phone....and its Matthew.
"mom, I can't fall asleep.. Daniel has been sleeping for two hours and i just cant fall asleep."
So, if my staff of moodiness was in the "bad" mode, the evening would've ended rather tragically for poor matthew, BUT, the staff of moodiness was in the "good" mode, so I was able to parent with the staff of pleasantness, allow the poor kid to come home and call it a night.
Now, here is where the bad parenting comes in....Daniel, his friend, is the oldest. Daniel has a schedule, a bed time, a routine...Matthew, on the other hand, is the youngest, he has no bed time because I let him walk all over me, he has a varied schedule and a pitiful routine..which is why the kid couldn't fall asleep earlier-who goes to bed before 12:30 on a saturday night (aside from the mother who is getting old and is unable to stay up late without the aid of pharmacuticals or alcholic libations consumed at the proper intervals....)not matthew or his two older brothers...bad bad parent.
When the boys were little, being a parent was easy-feed, change, play, nap, repeat
As they get older, you want to talk to them, you want to hear about their day, sometimes, you forget to parent because you just enjoy hanging out with them-truth is, how many years do you have when they want to hang out with you? the clock is ticking....I will parent to the best of my ability, with whatever staff I can grab first and i will try not to beat them with it.
Thanks for reading....