Friday, February 26, 2010

husband vs wife

I am about to write a blog about a very sensitive topic. If none of you can relate to this one, I am in really big trouble......

When my babies were little, Ari and I used to be in competition. Now, the competition wasn't who could play with the baby more, who made the baby smile more, or who felt they related to the baby more...no. That wasn't it at all. Who really cares about that nonsense anyway? The competition was "I was up with the baby for 4 hours, 26 minutes and 32 seconds...how long were you up with him for?" "I changed a diaper that was considered hazardous material-what was in your diaper?" "It only took me 3 minutes to stop the brat from crying-how long did it take you?" "I stopped the kid from sticking his finger in a socket-what have you done, exactly?"

We would then use these competition to try and figure out who "deserved" to sleep a whole night with ear plugs, or who "won" the right to not have to touch the baby at all. Great parenting-right? Please tell me you people know what I am talking about.

What made matters worse was that I nursed all three kids(sorry, it had to be said and it helps me with this blog...) 2 nursed for 9 months and the third nursed for 11 months...So I would use this whole "I nurse, therefore I am more tired than you" routine many, many times. (Nursing also got me in a room alone during family events for many undisturbed hours-I don't even know if the kid was actually eating, but who cares-no one bothers a nursing mom!!) And even though my math is terrible, to this day, I sometimes say to ari-I nursed those kids for 29 months-YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM!!!..can you believe it? and sometimes, that even works(or is Ari banging his head against a wall a sign that it doesn't really work, I am not sure...he does it so often lately, I am beginning to think he should see a doctor about it..)

This brings me to snow days. I was always the primary shoveler. Not because Ari is incapable, but because I enjoy it. It's good exercise(another excuse to eat more once I go back into the house) the air is always nice and fresh after a good snow storm-it's all good. Now, after I would shovel, I would still have to go back inside, cook for everyone, clean up after everyone and take care of the wet laundry. That being said, the past few snow storms, Ari has been the primary shoveler(round of applause...)and when he comes inside "oh, I am so sweaty" "Oh, I am so tired-what's for lunch..." are you kidding me? Seriously? How come all the times that I shoveled, no one made me lunch? I have shoveled 56 times, you have only shoveled 4 times...I am so winning this competition yet, it seems I haven't won anything at all. That doesn't seem very fair.

Today I told Ari I was going for a walk and that I would finish shoveling the path to our dead neighbors house when I got back(we split the shoveling with our dear, dear neighbors...shout out MW) So i get back after an hour, Ari is outside with the boys and I get a "nice of you to come back...I took care of the path while you were gone." So now I think that he thinks that he is winning!! NO, he is not....but truthfully, I feel so old, fat and tired...he can shovel for the next 30 years and I will not be keeping score (yes I will, don't tell him)

Happy Friday....stay warm and Happy Purim!