Tuesday, February 16, 2010

the hazards of living with a large woman....

Poor, poor Ari...sends me the roses, makes reservations for dinner, plans the movie time-all ready for a nice, romantic evening...comes home Sunday at around 4:30 pm and finds me in a state of pre-death stomach virus. It wasn't pretty. In fact, it was the total opposite of anything resembling pretty. In fact, I am pretty sure in my state of semi-consciousness I heard him mutter "if you didn't want to go out tonight, you could have just said something...." While in the confines of my bathroom, I thought I was going to pass out, I felt myself go totally cold, all i could think of was Ari-what the hell is the guy going to do if he finds me passed out on the floor-besides laugh hysterically at the sight in front of him...I made it back into bed and have now lived to tell the tale. But, it reminded me of a story that happened to us almost 14 years ago in the scenic Tamarack Hotel......

The year is 1996 and I am almost 9 months pregnant with Jack. We decide to spend a quiet, romantic (as romantic as you can get when you are that pregnant and can barely move) weekend in the beautiful catskill mountains. I love the catskills. And I love unlimited kosher food...so the Tamarack it was. Not quite sure why we chose that hotel, but that isn't the point.

The rooms were surprisingly nice for a hotel of that age (100 years? who knows..) and in the room were these big, beautiful wicker chairs with the huge round backs. It is saturday night, we are getting ready to go into woodbourne (at that point, we were still in our 20's at were allowed in....) and I plop my big,fat tush into one of these wicker chairs with the huge round backs. For some reason, I though it would be ok to lean back on the chair-after all, it had that huge round back to support me.

I slowly began to tip backwards-I will never forget the look of horror on Ari's face. The tipping did not stop and before I knew it, I had smacked, back-down on the floor practically suctioned into the chair...the look on Ari's face only got worse....how was he supposed to extract his 250 pound wife from the chair and then get her back into a standing position. Aside from the fact we were nervous if something had happened to the baby because I landed back so hard that I had chipped my teeth.

But even with all the worry, we couln't stop laughing and when I think of the story even now, I can't stop laughing...poor poor Ari....thank god the baby was ok, I was ok and i was able to roll over and get myself back up. But it was touch-n-go for a while.

I guess I will have to make Sunday night up to him at some point!
Sorry this one is so short...I am still recovering...

Happy Tuesday and be careful out there...it's a mess...