friday, feb 5, 2010

mortality-this probably won't be the funniest blog I have written......

One of the secretary's from my kids school passed away last night. I don't think she was much older than in her 50's and she was only diagnosed in November. My boys were trying to grasp the concept on the way to the bus this morning. And they were asking me questions.

Now, I will be honest, I usually have the answers to all of their questions...but when it comes to death and mortality, I am stuck. When I think about it, I get the same panicked feeling that I used to get when I was little and would think about dying. "Everybody dies," my dad would say. Then you think about what is the whole point of living..be a better person....be kind to animals..save the environment...will the healthcare bill pass...blah blah blah.

Years ago, I read a novel about an older man who every time he would go into a restaraunt, he would try to throw some things on the floor so people knew he existed. That is how I feel sometimes....how will anyone know that I was ever here 100 years from now? Will it only be because some chubby girl has been handed down my "unique" first name? Wait..sorry about that, I only have boys..no one is naming anyone after me (name her after your mother-what are you crazy? ) How will anyone know about any of us....sorry-too depressing.

Death.....I joke about what I will do when I, god forbid, I find out I am dying. 1. Take my family on a cruise. 2. Tell an exclusive list of people exactly how I feel about them and then reveal all of their secrets. 3. Try to get on Oprah. 4. Drive my car while talking on my cell phone, eating a cinnabon and washing my hair. You know, the important things in life. But people die whether we want them to or not. And all we can do while we are alive is leave a lasting impression upon the people we touch-whether it be good, bad or otherwise. Think about the people in your lives whom you have lost, you remember the way their hands felt, or their smell-I still get teary when I smell shower-to shower body powder, because that is how my grandmother's apartment smelled...

Everybody dies. A depressing truth in life. So hug the ones you love, give dirty looks to the ones you don't, remember the one's that aren't here anymore and just keep on living....

Happy Friday.....good luck with the snow-4-6 inches?4-6 feet? who cares! the kids will still have school on Monday :)