Sunday April 3,2011

It's tough being a woman.....

I went to a boutique tonight to help support my friends new business Bamboo Boutique...I originally wanted to purchase one of their yummy, cozy sweatshirts, but they refuse to carry extra larges and have to order one for me. Their friends are mostly skinny minis who think that size smalls are too big, so when I stomp over asking for an extra large, the villagers raise their torches in fear and agree to get me the size I need before I eat them....ok...I'm exaggerating just a bit, but I do want the sweatshirt in an xl....and they told me the charcoal grey is really "in" now, and i am going to the fashionable hudson valley resort for passover and, who knows, maybe the sweatshirt will help me meet husband #2, you never know...but, in any event, I couldn't leave the boutique empty handed, so I browsed through some of their other wares...

Didn't need any kikirikis because I just bought my first two..still don't know what the hell a nikibiki is..so, if I don't know what it is, I must not need it...and then I found a pair of footless tights that will "smooth my lumps and bumps"...now, I'm pretty sure that I need feet, but I was assured they are like leggings and I can wear them with a skirt and flats(there is a reason why god didn't give me daughters...) anyway, I had to buy these leggings because who doesn't want to rid themselves of lumps and bumps?!? And then it got me thinking about an ad that I "stole" from a magazine in a doctors office that was for the revolutionary iPant. Not iPad, iPant....the anti cellulite pant ware. I wish I was joking. The unfortunate thing about this product is that the women who have a great deal of cellulite who would need the iPant, couldn't actually squeeze her fat thighs into the iPant....this is like my experience with spanx when I almost lost consciousness in the dressing room trying them on and then I almost peed in my pants laughing at the sight of me trying to peel them off...ya, sometimes, it just sucks being a woman.

iPant, I shmant....someone give me a cookie....speaking of cookies-shout out to my friend who was trying on the teeny tiny hats with me, apparently, pancakes are out and rice cakes are in..who knew?!?!


Happy sunday