Tuesday march 29,2011

Parent teacher conferences.....

In the good old days of my youth, when my parents attended parent teacher conferences for me, I was able to acquire several skills that continue to serve me well to this day. Keep in mind, these skills have nothing to do with what the teachers told my parents....that's a whole other story.

Though hard for some of you to believe, I was not the model student. I was the kid who put thumbtacks on her teacher's chair in third grade(sorry mrs rubin, wherever you are, but it's not like you felt them when you sat down...) I was the little devil who wrote "mrs so an so sucks" on the bathroom wall...oh my, hope my old principal doesn't read this, as I am confessing publicly for the first time in 30 years....wait a second, it's been 30 years since I was in fifth grade???????.....sorry, getting off topic...anyway, I was a nightmare. The fact that I graduated college and got a masters degree is still a mystery to many, the fact that I have no criminal record is an even greater mystery, though I maintain that if we had the Internet when I was younger, there might be a few cyber-stalking charges to contend with, so I'm grateful for the delay of technology....

So my parents would leave the house to go to teacher conferences and I, of course, would watch tv in their room, which was not allowed on a school night, hence my letting my kids watch tv all the time(yes, I know that's bad, but it's still better then if I was sharing my flavored vodkas with them....I do know when to draw the line...occasionally..) as soon as my brother and I would hear the garage door open, we knew we had two choices, either face the music and listen to the "you have so much potential, if only you would apply yourself speech," or, run into bed and pretend to be sleeping (in my case, pretending to be dead might be the better option, those teachers did not have nice things to say
about me...) and that, ladies and gentleman, is when I honed the skill of pretending to sleep. And I am good at it. This does not make husband #1 happy on some nights, but, at least I learned something from parent teacher conferences.....

As for my kids and their reports home, well, when you marry someone and are blessed to have children together, you are playing the lottery. Sometimes, these kids take after the well behaved-always-with-a-smile parent and sometimes they take after their father.....just kidding....husband #1 does have some excellent qualities and combined with my sociopathic ones...the boys are doing just fine...

Happy tuesday