This past weekend was truly wonderful. Son #2 became a man(which he kept telling us last night when he refused to go to sleep..). He did an incredible job reading from the Torah and leading the services. He was charming and adorable. Our families were all together, the food was delicious(thank you Alan shulman from Celebrations...you rocked it again!!) It was really special. But, since it's all about me...let's recap the mother-of-the-bar mitzvah-boy-speech that almost wasn't....and I wish I was kidding...
So husband #1 introduces me....I walk up to the podium....and begin speaking. Now, you know in the movies when you hear a sound effect in the background that sounds like a heart beating...and then starts beating faster and faster? Ya, that was me. Out of nowhere, my heart starts to hurt and beat really really fast....I start to sweat(which was good because of the possible weight loss, but bad because, well I was standing in front of 350 people) as I am reading the words and looking out into the crowd, I'm thinking "holy crap, I am not going to be able to finish reading this, what is wrong with me?" so I try to calm down and make a joke about having a hot flash, thinking it might help...nope...I get really cold, start sweating more, start losing feeling in my hands and feet...look at husband #1 and say "I think I am going to pass out...."
Long story short...I sit down, next to son #2, which ended up being really nice, finish the speech...and when it's over, my brother in law Dave and my parents friend, Seymour, rush up to take my pulse and see how I'm feeling.(one a doctor, one an emt, respectively) turns out, the big girl, who eats all of the time, should've eaten that particular morning...who knew? But how is this funny? Well apparently the OTHER doctors in the audience, and there were lots of them, were afraid the big girl was going to take a tumble....and they were all afraid that they'd have to pick up my lifeless, now normal range bmi body from the stage..real nice guys, real nice....well, If you were nervous, think about what was I was thinking....if I passed out, my big, control top stocking covered tushie might be exposed for all to see....that's not pretty at all(even though I still maintain there were some relatives and friends secretly hoping I'd pass out...not mentioning any names....)
But in the end, it was fine. I was fine....it was all fine. And I got to have yummy cocktails with my sister when it was all over.