Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sunday November 21,2010

If I get arrested.....

Today we are leaving for the banji birthday family cruise...better known as "what the hell was I thinking". In the event that it does not go according to plan....plan being, sons#1, 2 and 3 get along perfectly, everyone ,besides me, finds something they like to eat, and husband #1 and I don't decide to get a quickie divorce in the Bahamas...please send this letter to the Norwegian cruise line police department...

Dear police chief:

It has come to our attention that you have arrested banji dawn latkin ganchrow for attempted murder. First of all, with a name like hers, you can't blame her for being a tad unhinged....but more importantly, the following reasons will shed new light on her situation and convince you to let her go free.

Packing for this cruise caused undue stress. It is very difficult to pack for three boys, four, if you include her first husband, when they all are picky about their food preferences. Ms. Latkin-ganchrow(no, she isn't a feminist, she just likes to annoy her first husband by using her maiden name)had to pack five packages of sprinkle cookies, six packages of not-too-well-done Stella doro cookies, six containers of pringles, three different kinds of Hershey kisses, two different kinds of soda, twenty four water bottles, three loaves of bread, four packages of cheese, six packages of turkey, three dozen rolls, a grilled cheese maker and a partridge in a pear tree-keeping in mind that the partridge would just not get into the suitcase.....

Once on board, sons # 1 and 2 deserted son#3, which caused that third son to run around the ship in a panic and then caused the captain of the ship to pull over in the middle of the ocean to reprimand her children. His exact words were "we are turning this ship around unless you kids can behave.". You can imagine her embarrassment and of course husband #1 was watching football in a bar(don't worry, he wasn't drinking...)somewhere on the other side of the boat and had no idea what was going on(surprising, I know).

In any event, it was just all too much for her and when she lined them all up and tried to throw them all overboard, something had come over her that she just couldn't control.

Please be lenient....she really is a good egg, deep, deep down.

Happy Sunday.....

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