wednesday december 21, 2011

happy spoiled brat day...just kidding

sometimes i think that i am the worst mom in the world, and at the same time, my kids are probably thinking i am the best mom in the world. Like when i insist on buying them vitamins, but because i have no memory, i forget to give them to them. Or when they tell me that they like white fudge oreos, i buy six boxes of them(after all, they say "limited edition" on the box-which i think is really just code for "we will charge you almost 4 dollars for 12 oreos). They don't like what i am serving for dinner-go ahead, eat 4 milky ways, i dont care. I really suck as a mom. As i have said before, I have no idea what i am doing and my boys are totally on to me.

So, a year later, we are back at chanukah. The holiday of miracles...the miracle of one night of oil lasting for eight nights, the miracle of husband #1 taking son #1 for a suit at the syms going out of business sale..(but, alas, there was no suit-so is it still a miracle? he came home with a belt...that's something, right?) and the miracle of buying gifts for my boys who are, actual, real life miracles. As i perused the aisles of target yesterday in search of some gifts(since i am the worst mom and hadn't gotten my miracles anything-i think i am still scarred from the polar fleece fiasco of 2005-who says boys don't cry-it was just a god dam sweatshirt, its not like i gave them homework for chanukah..geez, give your fat mom a break...)
Sorry, back to target. Nothing, i could find not one think that i thought they would like. Too old for coloring books and crayons(ahh, the good old days), can't buy a video game without preapproval because you can't return the game once it has left the store, books? yeah, that's funny. So i went to the department that i know best. Food.

That's right. For the first night of chanukah, son #1 got a family value size box of Honeycombs, son #2 got two packages of hershey bars(can you say dinner?) and son #3 got kit kats. I got laughs and big thank yous from two of the three sons, the third one will just have to learn to roll with the punches(both literally, and unfortunately, physically..why can't they just freakin get along?!)

My homemade latkas did get me some brownie points(though not from husband #1 because, what a surprise, he doesnt eat latkas even though i tried to convince him they are like flat french fries. The fact that i have to even try to convince a 41 year old man to eat anything still amazes me...but that's for another blog..)

so the moral of this story is when in doubt, the mantra of "food is love" can apply to any situation...even chanukah presents. I am hoping to pull off the gift of poland springs water bottle with the sports tops....it has the word sport in it-that's gotta count for something-right?

wishing all of you a happy and healthy holiday season...may we appreciate the gifts we get, the gifts we have and the gifts we give. That makes no sense, but my ambien is kicking in...

happy wednesday