tuesday, december 27, 2011

my name is banji and i am a loser...and that's ok...

well, the title of today's blog really says it all. I am actually afraid to find out how many of you agree with the first part of the title...i know many of you think i am a loud mouthed, witch like beotch with a fat bedonkadonk..and that is ok too, but, being a loser cuts to my core.

I grew up in a very lovely town, but really only had one friend who lived on "my side", well, two friends if you count the boy who was really smart and tutored me in math and went on to become a really religious rabbi with tons of kids(god bless). My parents never really sent me to camp and when they finally did, the only girl that was nice to me had people making fun of her because, according to husband #1, she used to walk around camp with a butterfly net- i never remember seeing her with a net, but i do remember her kindness towards me after the girl who i thought was my bff, turned out to be a real, well, a real not nice word.(look at me, exercising some self restraint..who knew that was possible.) Needless to say, it made me feel like a loser.

Anyway, fast forward to Stern College for Women and others, i started school not knowing really a soul and ended up knowing almost everyone(though, i still lost out to the israeli for secretary of the student council..not that there is anything wrong with being an israeli, but i still think she only won because she spoke fluent hebrew...no, im not still holding a grudge..losing builds character..and 15 pounds, but whatever..)

Ok so, graduate school...yadadada...marry husband #1...and that brings us to today, when i was volunteering at son #1's high school. The parent association hosted a lunch for all of the students and teachers. It was really, really nice.(no, i am not being sarcastic..) I was in charge of the tray of salad. Now, normally, in this skinny world we live in(that i am, apparently, the unwanted guest of...) you would think that salad would be the popular station. Everyone eats salad..right? No, not right. In fact, at an all boys high school it is very wrong. Extremely wrong, I think i need a therapist wrong...The salad, was, in fact, the loser station. I was manning the loser salad, which, in turn, made me a loser. It got so bad that, at one point, the boys would try to walk by me really quickly so they wouldnt have to hear my pathetic "salad, would you like some salad?" I even snapped at one of the kids with a " I know you can see me standing here with my spoon full of salad!!" It was not pretty. It was pathetic. I am such a loser.

But after eating three jelly donuts, i went to chico's and bought myself a pair of size 2 jeans and i felt a little better..(yes, I know they aren't really a size 2 in the real world, just let the loser be delusional for a little while....)

Happy Tuesday