And the old get older..and hotter...and I don't mean the good kind of hotter...
Tonight was date night with son #1. we went to the mall. He needed pants. He has a 26 inch waist...maybe smaller. He doesn't take after me(no, really? I wasn't even born with a waist that small..) so off to abercrombie we went, where skinny son tried on skinny pants, of course this was after the 17 year old salesperson looked at me and remarked "these slims are for you? What are you on crack? We have nothing in this store that would fit you...except maybe the socks.." ok, I exaggerated that conversation, but my version was funnier. Actually, the reality was skinny son shouting to fat mom over the music that was so loud that my brain is still vibrating inside my head and my hearing is worse than when I entered the store. I also was in the middle of a wicked hot flash and kept asking everyone if it was hot in the store, but no one could hear me because the music was so loud. Then skinny son came bursting out of the dressing room with the skinny pants too big around the waist(shocking) and he went on a quest for a belt. I suggested we try getting a belt at syms(yes, I am married to a man from monsey, thanks for asking) and skinny son looked at me with that "you can't wear pants from abercrombie with a belt from syms....duh..."
I hear ya kid, but the last time your father spent that much money on a belt, I think it was for something going into his car...do ya wanna give your dad a heart attack or something?!?!?! We didn't get the belt. So hopefully, husband #1 will be around for many years to come. We also didn't get the pants because I had ordered them online..so my question is, can you wear a belt from syms with pants from a&f that you ordered on line? I will be wearing my favorite suit from value city over the holidays(15 dollars, I kid you not, of course I think it's made out of Teflon and I can turn the jacket into a frying pan after I wear it...) hopefully, this riveting tale will end with skinny son having pants that fit him and if we have to spring for the belt, well, he is such a good kid and really doesn't eat that much, we will get him the belt.
Here's wishing all of you a waist size that makes you happy and a year filled with good health, happiness and only wonderful things.
Happy Saturday(technically, it's now Sunday...)