Yogi Bear

I did it. I went to shalom yoga. My motivation was to support my friend, so my intentions were pure. But in the back of my mind i was thinking "how can I do yoga when my favorite position is the 'screaming mom'?"  I am not flexible(insert lewd comment here) I have a hard time relaxing(insert lewd comment here) and the thought of spending 45 minutes in a calm, non-stress inducing environment was, well, stressful.

But I went with my purple yoga mat, courtesy of the yeshivas noyam golf and tennis outing from three years ago, I went by myself because I am a big girl(and my friend who was supposed to come with me had to do carpool) and I was ready to face the challenge.  I must admit, the yoga teacher was fabulous.  She had me breathing and relaxing and pretending to be a tree and a warrior and a big fluffy cloud-the cloud, i had no problem with, the tree and warrior was another story...and every time she said "there is no judgement here only love"  i smiled and took a deep breath-and tried not to fall on my bedonkadonk.. But I was also thinking that there should be more poses that relate to real life...like, if there was an all mens yoga class, is there "watching tv with my hands down my pants pose?"  is there a "I have no idea what you want from me?" pose...you get the point...

I have heard that yoga is all about meditating and finding inner peace..so perhaps I should not have said that I felt like I was doing the hokey pokey, perhaps I should have kept my self deprecating comments to myself, but, being the egomaniac that I am, it had to be all about me, and i had to make the others laugh. Whether it was at me or with me is another story.  But when i was lying on my mat in the lox pose(im not sure what it was actually called, I heard lox, thought about bagels and I was off to the races) and the teacher was telling us to relax and think about a beach and the sky...I opened my eyes after a few minutes and had no idea where I was...so that is either a good thing or the lavendar she had us smell was drugged...

Though, when all is said and done...I will be going back next week..hope some of you will join me!

Happy Wednesday