Last night I attended a beautiful simcha. A wedding of two Teaneck people, set up by Teaneck people, everyone was thin enough to pull off the white dresses, food was good, my table was awesome...all was right with the universe. While observing the dancing(because since my vertigo, the whole round and round thing makes me dizzy) someone came up to me and asked who she should be relating to at the wedding..to sort of quote her "I haven't made any bar or bat mitzvahs yet, so do I still relate to the bride? the bride's mom? Who can I still associate with?"
Ahh, my dear, sweet, young friend..here is my take on that...I, female, fat and forty, can no longer relate to the bride. For many reasons..too young, too thin, too optimistic, too in love, too giggley...too bouncy without jiggling...catch my drift? If I could do it all over again, would I? Of course, because if I didn't, I wouldn't have my boys...and if I didn't have my boys, when I came home last night, I would not have had the extreme joy of watching son #1 bake his own snickerdoodles. That's right folks, the messiah is just a wee bit closer to coming because someone in my house with actual testicles(not the ones that have grown on me by osmosis) baked something. A miracle. A joy. Getting back on topic, no, I can no longer relate to the bride.
The bride's mom. No, I cannot relate to her either because I will never be the bride's mom. I will be the well groomed(on that day anyway) piece of wallpaper that stands in the background with the tears streaming down her face as her son begins his life with his new best friend...I will be the woman handing out the jewelry and babysitting whenever asked and cooking whenever asked and keeping my mouth shut whenever asked(thank god for pharmacuticals...) you get the picture. Can't be bride's mom.
So who can I relate to at these simchas?..the fat single girls saying tehillim with such fervor that they look like they will take off from their chairs? The women wearing orthopedic dancing shoes? The bartenders? Truth be told, as I start preparing to make my last bar mitzvah, I just enjoy being a guest, listening to good music, drinking gin and tonics, hanging out with friends, and laughing as I watch the young couple and their friends dancing and screaming, filled with high hopes and dreams for their futures...and I pray those are all fulfilled.
May we only know from simchas, people. Amen.