I must begin by saying that the cruise was amazing. It was amazing on so many different levels, the highest of which being my son got to reenact his bar mitzvah while sailing on the atlantic(well, he wasnt actually doing the sailing because that might not have ended well..but he was reading his torah portion while the captain was guiding our ship through the beautiful waters of the east coast and on saturday, the waters were still beautiful, it wasn't until we pulled into baltimore that the waters became a funnier looking color....)So that was really special. Rabbi Simon, who is the chabad rabbi in teaneck entrusted a torah to our fearless president of anshei menachem of the high seas, we will call him Doug, and president Doug did a great job keeping the torah safe and bringing us all that much closer to the coming of Moshiach. And to be perfectly honest, there were so many really fat women on the cruise, it was easy for all these guys to go to minyan 3 times a day cause there wasn't much out on deck to look at.(Oops, sorry Doug, I just brought us that much further from the coming of Moshiach..really sorry..) The whole experience was amazing. We had never vacationed with friends before (find that hard to believe do ya? why, because i am so easy to get along with?or, because people in my community tend to travel in packs?) and it was worth the wait. Of course, none of them have returned my calls since we got back, but that is ok..im not taking it personally(im kidding, by the way) President Doug's wife told me that she likes vacation Banji a lot more than real life Banji and truth be told, she is right. Vacation Banji isn't a beotch who snaps at everyone...vacation Banji doesn't complain about stupid things that other people do or say...well, that's because vacation Banji sits her fat bedonkadonk down on a lounge chair, closes her eyes, listens to the sounds of the ocean and doesn't have to talk to a single person that she doesnt want to...and, there are cocktails!!
This is totally not what i wanted to write about tonight...I wanted to write about the 15 year old kid who cut my hair today who told me he was making his dad a surprise 50th birthday party. Um, 50 is only 9 years away(with god's help) and im just hoping that my kids learn how to use the oven by then....but here is hoping they can do a lot more than that!