peace and quiet....
one of the really nice things about my community is that it totally clears out during sukkot, winter vacation and passover....nice and calm and quiet. the scary skinny people all go away...where they can be scary and skinny in nicer weather..though there are still quite a few scary and skinny people still at home-they are much less intimidating when they aren't in packs...
going to synagogue is so much less stressful-the walk of shame from the entrance to the women's section to my seat, which usually causes me so much anxiety(though it has gotten much better in the 12 years i have lived here...) is an easier walk to take-i might even skip down the aisle if the mood suits me...what am i talking about? i will most likely not be going anywhere-except to the kitchen to put on my apron and name tag and start taking orders...but i honestly don't mind, because this will be my last passover in my 30's and plan to enjoy every minute.
i am almost done cooking for the first days (and shabbos and the second days....) and ari and the boys are almost done not doing anything to help get ready for the holiday...but that is ok, because, as i just said, it is my last passover in my 30's and i am enjoying every minute....(and if i keep saying that, i might actually believe it!)
so i wish all of you a very happy and healthy holiday season-wherever you might be. I will be taking a few days off....but will be back with a recap of the first days before the weekend(unless I am in jail...you never know what could happen....)
Happy sunday
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
saturday, march 27,2010
memories....
whenever i make the cake mixes for passover, i think about how my sister and i used to make them when we were younger and eat so much of the batter that there wasn't much cake left to make....and i wonder, how did my mother get us to make the cake mixes at all? no one is volunteering at this house...jack and jonah are playing march madness on xbox and matthew has gone across the street with ari to make pizza at the neighbors...so where did i go wrong? I have said it before and i will say again, when the boys bring home their futures wives, the first thing i will say to them is "i am so sorry....they don't know how to do anything....so here is some jewelry to make up for it.." UNLESS.....
I ran into a mother of four married sons this morning and she told me about the assignment chart she had for her boys and that helped her help them to become more helpful. So tonight, the ganchrow boys had a family meeting (ari wasn't there, it is too late for him....) and i told them about the chart and how we will put it into action after pesach (i have coddled them this long..i can wait a few more days) so here i thought I am putting my foot down and getting the troops in order and all of them start saying "oh, this family has that kind of chart" " so and so has been doing that for years.." just confiming the fact that I totally suck as a mom....and am W A Y too nice to my kids....(how i treat their father, however, is another story..)
So i am looking forward to seeing how this chart will work out...of course, i am cautiously optimistic...but so were the people who went on the titanic...
happy saturday
whenever i make the cake mixes for passover, i think about how my sister and i used to make them when we were younger and eat so much of the batter that there wasn't much cake left to make....and i wonder, how did my mother get us to make the cake mixes at all? no one is volunteering at this house...jack and jonah are playing march madness on xbox and matthew has gone across the street with ari to make pizza at the neighbors...so where did i go wrong? I have said it before and i will say again, when the boys bring home their futures wives, the first thing i will say to them is "i am so sorry....they don't know how to do anything....so here is some jewelry to make up for it.." UNLESS.....
I ran into a mother of four married sons this morning and she told me about the assignment chart she had for her boys and that helped her help them to become more helpful. So tonight, the ganchrow boys had a family meeting (ari wasn't there, it is too late for him....) and i told them about the chart and how we will put it into action after pesach (i have coddled them this long..i can wait a few more days) so here i thought I am putting my foot down and getting the troops in order and all of them start saying "oh, this family has that kind of chart" " so and so has been doing that for years.." just confiming the fact that I totally suck as a mom....and am W A Y too nice to my kids....(how i treat their father, however, is another story..)
So i am looking forward to seeing how this chart will work out...of course, i am cautiously optimistic...but so were the people who went on the titanic...
happy saturday
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday, march 26, 2010
but i'm a girl.....
Jack and Jonah had their well-checks today....for the record, jack's birthday is in october but because i forgot to make him an appointment two years ago, in october, and because insurance only covers these checkups every 12 months, his birthday is now in March...please tell me that I am not the only mom who forgot to make their kids appt on time....but this is not the point.
Taking my boys to the pediatrician always make me aware of two crucial things..
1. i am getting older-i must be, if they don't fit in that little baby scale anymore and i don't have change their diapers before, during and after their appointments, i must be getting older...
2. i think maybe we need a license to become a parent...
when jack and i went into the exam room, there was a pamphlet waiting for us.."how to talk to your teenager about drinking." and this was our discussion..(ari, forgive me..)
"jack, drinking when you are a teenager is very bad. It will stunt your growth, ruin your brain and cause you do to stupid and irresponsible things. Now, mommy drinks because she has already finished growing-well, taller, anyway, wider is another story, her brain has already started to deteriorate and i am always doing stupid things anyway so, basically SAVE YOURSELF!!!"
I happen to like this pamphlet better than the "checking yourself for testicular abnormalities..." oh god...and then the doctor started talking to me about boys and puberty and then I think i might have passed out...i am hoping that their father will help me with this one, though i am pretty sure that my father-in-law still hasn't had "the talk" with ari, so basically, my boys are in big trouble...
Now, for the record, i toilet trained my boys, with no help from the member of our family that actually has a penis, and it was quite interesting-who knew that gravity did not effect the stream of urine and that a boy could pee in a straight horizontal line-just point, aim and shoot! amazing! miraculous! i had them aiming at cheerios in the toilet-hours and hours of fun....but that was when they were standing...when they would sit i would just keep saying "i don't know what to do with it, mommy doesn't have one...." but they survived and were all trained way before their father was....(was that too much information?)
but this puberty stuff....no thank you....i can't help you....please ask daddy...or pa...or anyone that isn't me....but i will always love you! that is just the best i can do...
happy friday
Jack and Jonah had their well-checks today....for the record, jack's birthday is in october but because i forgot to make him an appointment two years ago, in october, and because insurance only covers these checkups every 12 months, his birthday is now in March...please tell me that I am not the only mom who forgot to make their kids appt on time....but this is not the point.
Taking my boys to the pediatrician always make me aware of two crucial things..
1. i am getting older-i must be, if they don't fit in that little baby scale anymore and i don't have change their diapers before, during and after their appointments, i must be getting older...
2. i think maybe we need a license to become a parent...
when jack and i went into the exam room, there was a pamphlet waiting for us.."how to talk to your teenager about drinking." and this was our discussion..(ari, forgive me..)
"jack, drinking when you are a teenager is very bad. It will stunt your growth, ruin your brain and cause you do to stupid and irresponsible things. Now, mommy drinks because she has already finished growing-well, taller, anyway, wider is another story, her brain has already started to deteriorate and i am always doing stupid things anyway so, basically SAVE YOURSELF!!!"
I happen to like this pamphlet better than the "checking yourself for testicular abnormalities..." oh god...and then the doctor started talking to me about boys and puberty and then I think i might have passed out...i am hoping that their father will help me with this one, though i am pretty sure that my father-in-law still hasn't had "the talk" with ari, so basically, my boys are in big trouble...
Now, for the record, i toilet trained my boys, with no help from the member of our family that actually has a penis, and it was quite interesting-who knew that gravity did not effect the stream of urine and that a boy could pee in a straight horizontal line-just point, aim and shoot! amazing! miraculous! i had them aiming at cheerios in the toilet-hours and hours of fun....but that was when they were standing...when they would sit i would just keep saying "i don't know what to do with it, mommy doesn't have one...." but they survived and were all trained way before their father was....(was that too much information?)
but this puberty stuff....no thank you....i can't help you....please ask daddy...or pa...or anyone that isn't me....but i will always love you! that is just the best i can do...
happy friday
Thursday, March 25, 2010
thursday, march 25,2010
the middle child....
my middle child woke up with a tummy ache. no fever, no gastrointestinal symptoms, just a "mom, my stomach really really hurts..." with four days left until we leave egypt, i was in no mood to do an accurate diagnosis so, my middle child is home with me today. he knows not to bother me, unless it is absolutely necessary...so far, he has only requested tissues and toilet paper, as, apparently, the cleaning lady forgot to replace them(i am the cleaning lady, so the only person i am insulting, is myself, as usual). When you only have boys, a roll of toilet paper can last an obscenely long time, so unless I see that it is empty during my weekly fumigating of the boys bathroon, or they ask for it....it is what it is...so for now he is in my room watching espn...and he thinks that i am cleaning the house, which i was, until i took a break...it is only 9:50 am and i have already done two loads of laundry, cleaned the burners, went through a bunch of drawers in the kitchen, changed the linens for when my guests arrive on monday...i know you don't really care, but i just wanted you all to know that i am earning my keep.
Earning my keep? what does that mean? will ari make me sleep in the yard if he comes home and he doesn't have his fresh leftovers waiting for him on the table? Will he reprimand me for not having the cans lined up in the pantry in alphabetical order, by calorie and fiber content and according to expiration date? i do all of this out of the goodness of my heart, and because i haven't found a job that i really like (15 hours a week, 400 dollars and hour, doesn't require me to do anything....but totally legal...) oh, i also have a roast in the oven, ironed 12 pairs of pants, cleaned my middle child's room while he wasn't in it so he wouldn't yell at me for touching his stuff...and so on...and so on....and so on......
So i must leave you all now because in addition to being the maid, i am also playing the part of Florence Nightingale(i am wearing a nurse's uniform), top chef, rabbinical supervisor, beauty queen and a friend to all in need.....but I also might just go take a nap..
Happy thursday.....
my middle child woke up with a tummy ache. no fever, no gastrointestinal symptoms, just a "mom, my stomach really really hurts..." with four days left until we leave egypt, i was in no mood to do an accurate diagnosis so, my middle child is home with me today. he knows not to bother me, unless it is absolutely necessary...so far, he has only requested tissues and toilet paper, as, apparently, the cleaning lady forgot to replace them(i am the cleaning lady, so the only person i am insulting, is myself, as usual). When you only have boys, a roll of toilet paper can last an obscenely long time, so unless I see that it is empty during my weekly fumigating of the boys bathroon, or they ask for it....it is what it is...so for now he is in my room watching espn...and he thinks that i am cleaning the house, which i was, until i took a break...it is only 9:50 am and i have already done two loads of laundry, cleaned the burners, went through a bunch of drawers in the kitchen, changed the linens for when my guests arrive on monday...i know you don't really care, but i just wanted you all to know that i am earning my keep.
Earning my keep? what does that mean? will ari make me sleep in the yard if he comes home and he doesn't have his fresh leftovers waiting for him on the table? Will he reprimand me for not having the cans lined up in the pantry in alphabetical order, by calorie and fiber content and according to expiration date? i do all of this out of the goodness of my heart, and because i haven't found a job that i really like (15 hours a week, 400 dollars and hour, doesn't require me to do anything....but totally legal...) oh, i also have a roast in the oven, ironed 12 pairs of pants, cleaned my middle child's room while he wasn't in it so he wouldn't yell at me for touching his stuff...and so on...and so on....and so on......
So i must leave you all now because in addition to being the maid, i am also playing the part of Florence Nightingale(i am wearing a nurse's uniform), top chef, rabbinical supervisor, beauty queen and a friend to all in need.....but I also might just go take a nap..
Happy thursday.....
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
wednesday march 24,2010
running away from home.....
when i was little, ok, i was never little, when i was younger I ran away from home. I was about 8 years old and i had just had it between my mom and my older sister always ganging up on me-i was leaving. so i packed my bag and left....and ended up in my next door neighbor's backyard where i hid next to the fence so no one would see me. A few hours had gone by (I was 8, so it was probably 20 minutes) and i hear my dad come outside and start yelling my name "Banji, where are you?"....a few minutes after that my mom came outside to tell my dad that she was going to play tennis and she had no patience to look for me... nice, right?
So, i think that i have finally gotten over the fact that my mom was not concerned that i had left home-now, was she really not concerned? or, did she know that i was safe and only a few feet away...frankly, I am afraid to ask her that question, even all of these years laters for many reasons 1. she probably forgot the entire incident and 2. she might tell me it was because I drove her crazy and she really didn't care where i was as long as i wasn't bothering her....(those are the only two i could come up with..my bad) I have blocked out most of the incidents involving my persecution as the pudgy, under-achieving, middle child....because if i didn't, I would be a total basket case, instead of just a partial one....but this one, this one of actually leaving my house to find a better life, this one, i remember...and I remember which parent made the effort to find me(no offense mom, i do love you and will take care of you when you forget to leave the house without any accessories on....)
So this incident made me think about the fact that my son recently(two days ago)told me that I am cranky all the time. I am hoping that he will maybe forget about that when he gets older and will only remember me more as the funny-mom instead of the scary-cranky mom. After all, I am not cranky all the time-last week was a really long long week-we were all out of sorts with no power, moving into the witness relocation program in Fair Lawn...there was a lot going on. I had every right to be cranky. But, it still hurt my feelings when he pulled me aside and told me that it upsets him. So, we made a deal. If i am not cranky for the whole week, he has to give his brother(who he tortures on a daily basis...but in a good, kind way..) a hug. Just a simple hug. Now, it may surprise some of you to know(ok, it will surpise all of you)that i have not been cranky for almost two whole days. It is taking all of the will power i have, but the drugs have helped, and i am making a concerted effort to stick to the deal. (knowing, there is NO WAY he will keep his end of the bargain, but a mom can dream...)
I don't want my kids to look back at their childhood and only remember scary-mom....but compared to some other moms, I am so NOT scary!! i want them to remember their crazy-fun mom....the mom who lets them watch tv and play video games during the week (gasp!) the mom whose idea of healthy snack is fruit by the foot (gasp!) the mom who lets them stay up as late as they want because she is just to tired to argue (gasp gasp gasp...)
Truthfully, I just don't want them to leave me in a nursing home in minnesota..who am i kidding.
Happy Wednesday
when i was little, ok, i was never little, when i was younger I ran away from home. I was about 8 years old and i had just had it between my mom and my older sister always ganging up on me-i was leaving. so i packed my bag and left....and ended up in my next door neighbor's backyard where i hid next to the fence so no one would see me. A few hours had gone by (I was 8, so it was probably 20 minutes) and i hear my dad come outside and start yelling my name "Banji, where are you?"....a few minutes after that my mom came outside to tell my dad that she was going to play tennis and she had no patience to look for me... nice, right?
So, i think that i have finally gotten over the fact that my mom was not concerned that i had left home-now, was she really not concerned? or, did she know that i was safe and only a few feet away...frankly, I am afraid to ask her that question, even all of these years laters for many reasons 1. she probably forgot the entire incident and 2. she might tell me it was because I drove her crazy and she really didn't care where i was as long as i wasn't bothering her....(those are the only two i could come up with..my bad) I have blocked out most of the incidents involving my persecution as the pudgy, under-achieving, middle child....because if i didn't, I would be a total basket case, instead of just a partial one....but this one, this one of actually leaving my house to find a better life, this one, i remember...and I remember which parent made the effort to find me(no offense mom, i do love you and will take care of you when you forget to leave the house without any accessories on....)
So this incident made me think about the fact that my son recently(two days ago)told me that I am cranky all the time. I am hoping that he will maybe forget about that when he gets older and will only remember me more as the funny-mom instead of the scary-cranky mom. After all, I am not cranky all the time-last week was a really long long week-we were all out of sorts with no power, moving into the witness relocation program in Fair Lawn...there was a lot going on. I had every right to be cranky. But, it still hurt my feelings when he pulled me aside and told me that it upsets him. So, we made a deal. If i am not cranky for the whole week, he has to give his brother(who he tortures on a daily basis...but in a good, kind way..) a hug. Just a simple hug. Now, it may surprise some of you to know(ok, it will surpise all of you)that i have not been cranky for almost two whole days. It is taking all of the will power i have, but the drugs have helped, and i am making a concerted effort to stick to the deal. (knowing, there is NO WAY he will keep his end of the bargain, but a mom can dream...)
I don't want my kids to look back at their childhood and only remember scary-mom....but compared to some other moms, I am so NOT scary!! i want them to remember their crazy-fun mom....the mom who lets them watch tv and play video games during the week (gasp!) the mom whose idea of healthy snack is fruit by the foot (gasp!) the mom who lets them stay up as late as they want because she is just to tired to argue (gasp gasp gasp...)
Truthfully, I just don't want them to leave me in a nursing home in minnesota..who am i kidding.
Happy Wednesday
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
tuesday march 23
sorry about this....
i am technologically impaired, i tried to post something that i wrote in february, thinking it would come up today when you logged on, but it didn't...SOOOO, if you want to read today's post, you have to go to the archives of February 21-the blog that is titled March 23, 2010.....it is a good one(well, my narcissitic self thinks, anyway....)
PLEASE comment so i know you read it!!
sorry about making you work for it today....
happy tuesday....
i am technologically impaired, i tried to post something that i wrote in february, thinking it would come up today when you logged on, but it didn't...SOOOO, if you want to read today's post, you have to go to the archives of February 21-the blog that is titled March 23, 2010.....it is a good one(well, my narcissitic self thinks, anyway....)
PLEASE comment so i know you read it!!
sorry about making you work for it today....
happy tuesday....
Monday, March 22, 2010
monday, march 22, 2010 happy 40th Ari
the art of procrastination....
my brother is the subject of a documentary called Fantasyland..it is about fantasy baseball...i made the mistake of watching it today, 7 days before passover, when I have 11 rooms to clean, 3 chickens to cook, 25 cakes to bake, 2 roasts to roast, a kitchen to reconfigure, candy to find in the couches and a partridge in a pear tree. Anyway, apparently, insanity runs in our family because if you all think I am crazy, this movie proves my adorable younger brother is at a totally different level of crazy...if you are into fantasy baseball at all, catch this film at snagfilms.com, or friend FANTASYLAND on facebook, and it links you to the movie. it was actually quite entertaining and...I AM IN IT!!! there is my plug for the film...i will be available for autographs anytime...
I failed to mention in yesterday's blog about the very best part of going shopping in monsey...some of the stores have their own mikva-so you can take your newly bought items and dunk them....so, of course, you all know where my mind went...can you imagine....won't go into details, but just think about the large bottomed woman who pushed me yesterday-get that visual in your head and THEN go get a snack...i dare you :)
today ari is 40 years old....i remember when my mom turned 40 and the surprise party we had for her (well, the surprise part was ruined by yours truly-hard to believe, i know...) I was showing matthew pictures from the party last week, when we were living in fair lawn with no tv and were running out of activies that didn't involve the ganchrow boys killing eachother...and upon looking at them he said "wow, mama was a lot thinner than you..." yes, she was....but i was a real looker in my peach dress with matching peach ribbons in my pigtails and my orthopedist recommended shoes!! (i was almost 10 at the soiree..)
ari, unfortunately, is not getting a surprise party...too close to pesach..too many people who would be insulted(and though I love insulting, it would make ari sad)so..here we are, the big 4-0
and all he got was Jack waking up at 5:45 this morning to give him 40 kisses and 1 for good luck...but isn't that the best present of all?
so happy birthday ari dov and happy monday to everyone else.....
my brother is the subject of a documentary called Fantasyland..it is about fantasy baseball...i made the mistake of watching it today, 7 days before passover, when I have 11 rooms to clean, 3 chickens to cook, 25 cakes to bake, 2 roasts to roast, a kitchen to reconfigure, candy to find in the couches and a partridge in a pear tree. Anyway, apparently, insanity runs in our family because if you all think I am crazy, this movie proves my adorable younger brother is at a totally different level of crazy...if you are into fantasy baseball at all, catch this film at snagfilms.com, or friend FANTASYLAND on facebook, and it links you to the movie. it was actually quite entertaining and...I AM IN IT!!! there is my plug for the film...i will be available for autographs anytime...
I failed to mention in yesterday's blog about the very best part of going shopping in monsey...some of the stores have their own mikva-so you can take your newly bought items and dunk them....so, of course, you all know where my mind went...can you imagine....won't go into details, but just think about the large bottomed woman who pushed me yesterday-get that visual in your head and THEN go get a snack...i dare you :)
today ari is 40 years old....i remember when my mom turned 40 and the surprise party we had for her (well, the surprise part was ruined by yours truly-hard to believe, i know...) I was showing matthew pictures from the party last week, when we were living in fair lawn with no tv and were running out of activies that didn't involve the ganchrow boys killing eachother...and upon looking at them he said "wow, mama was a lot thinner than you..." yes, she was....but i was a real looker in my peach dress with matching peach ribbons in my pigtails and my orthopedist recommended shoes!! (i was almost 10 at the soiree..)
ari, unfortunately, is not getting a surprise party...too close to pesach..too many people who would be insulted(and though I love insulting, it would make ari sad)so..here we are, the big 4-0
and all he got was Jack waking up at 5:45 this morning to give him 40 kisses and 1 for good luck...but isn't that the best present of all?
so happy birthday ari dov and happy monday to everyone else.....
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