mothers day....
my mother is not happy with me because i didn't have a chance to buy her a card. i was going to go last night, but there was a wind advisory, and since i am so thin, i was afraid i would blow away. so, instead of a paper card, i attempted to send her an E-card, and because i am getting old, and not that bright(i have always been not-that-bright) i sent her an e birthday card instead of an e mothers day card. when asked why i sent her a birthday card, my only defense was "i clicked on the mothers day card option, and thought that is what i got...its the thought that counts." better luck next year. and it will probably take me at least that long to make it up to my mom....gee, i wonder where i get grudge holding from???
as for my mothers day...my boys were awesome. i got breakfast in bed...pancakes(with syrup) and chocolate milk(made from scratch...jack milked the cow and everything...)of course, when i asked him if he wanted some of the chocolate milk he said "it's got gross white things floating on top, i am not drinking that..." again, the thought that counts. i got really funny cards (thanks MW)and i am going to see Rock of Ages this week...80's music and alcohol-it doesn't get any better than that....i also received an adorable little ihome so i can listen to music (again, 80's..)while i clean the kitchen(so back to 80's music AND alcohol...) it was only 9 am and so far so good....
went to spinning....went to be with ari's family (that mikes hard lemonade totally rocks)...and went to watch son #3 play baseball in the freezing cold (he was 4 for 4 so cold shmold, i had a kid in a great mood...) and now i am home sharing my wonderful but boring-to-you day.
and that's all i got.
hope you all had a happy mothers day
Happy Sunday
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
friday,may 7,2010
what being a mom means to me...please dont fall asleep reading this
since i only have boys, i will not be able to put in any of the cliched lines such as these...
"i love being a role model to my daugher" (oh, maybe THAT is why god didn't give me girls..)
"I love taking my little girl shopping" (if i had a girl, chances are, she wouldn't be little and i wouldn't love taking her shopping)
"taking my daughter for mani-pedis is the highlight of my week" (wtf is a mani-pedi?)
but since i have boys...here is what being a mom means to me....
being a mom of boys means fearing that my sons will bring home someone like me...
being a mom of boys means never having to say "it's time to take you shopping for a bra..."
being a mom of boys means learning how to put on a cup...
being a mom of boys means always having to say "would you please put your laundry in the hamper and not on the floor where someone will trip on it and kill themselves?!?!?!"
being a mom of boys means always knowing the box scores when they wake up in the morning so you can let them know if their teams won....
being a mom of boys means having to say, at least once a week, "i dont have one, please go ask your father...."
being a mom of boys means knowing how to get to modells with your eyes closed...
being a mom of boys means learning that "icing" isn't what is on a cake...but something having to do with hockey that i still don't understand, but don't tell my kids....
being a mom of boys means not having to teach anyone the joys of control top stockings...
being a mom of boys means sneaking in hugs and kisses when no one is looking...
being a mom of boys means enjoying every single minute with them....until they move on to the next woman in their life......
happy mothers day to mothers of sons and daughters...
happy friday.
since i only have boys, i will not be able to put in any of the cliched lines such as these...
"i love being a role model to my daugher" (oh, maybe THAT is why god didn't give me girls..)
"I love taking my little girl shopping" (if i had a girl, chances are, she wouldn't be little and i wouldn't love taking her shopping)
"taking my daughter for mani-pedis is the highlight of my week" (wtf is a mani-pedi?)
but since i have boys...here is what being a mom means to me....
being a mom of boys means fearing that my sons will bring home someone like me...
being a mom of boys means never having to say "it's time to take you shopping for a bra..."
being a mom of boys means learning how to put on a cup...
being a mom of boys means always having to say "would you please put your laundry in the hamper and not on the floor where someone will trip on it and kill themselves?!?!?!"
being a mom of boys means always knowing the box scores when they wake up in the morning so you can let them know if their teams won....
being a mom of boys means having to say, at least once a week, "i dont have one, please go ask your father...."
being a mom of boys means knowing how to get to modells with your eyes closed...
being a mom of boys means learning that "icing" isn't what is on a cake...but something having to do with hockey that i still don't understand, but don't tell my kids....
being a mom of boys means not having to teach anyone the joys of control top stockings...
being a mom of boys means sneaking in hugs and kisses when no one is looking...
being a mom of boys means enjoying every single minute with them....until they move on to the next woman in their life......
happy mothers day to mothers of sons and daughters...
happy friday.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
thursday may 6, 2010
another theory....mothers day vs fathers day
though i have had thoughts about this blog running through my head for the past week or so, watching last night's episode of the middle made me want to bring it to fruition....
what is mothers day? on mothers day, the husband decides that since it is only one day, perhaps he can play the role of the mother...bringing her food, taking care of the kids, cleaning up the kitchen, making sure that she can have a restful,pleasant day.....that being said, i have been thinking about fathers day..
if on mothers day, the husband is supposed to act like the mother (minus the moodiness, crankiness and screaming) then on fathers day, the mother is supposed to be play the role of the father (minus the constant need for affection, attention and sports). so this year, on fathers day, i am going to wake up at 6 in the morning and leave the house until 8 at night. i am going to earn money(anyone need a babysitter?) and then i am going to come home and expect dinner on the table(leftovers are totally acceptable)and to be given a few moments of peace and quiet(and the remote)after my long hard day at work ....
how is that? this year we have no plans for mothers day(exept for baseball, of course) i don't expect any grand gestures...i just want to go spinning and to have my family tell me how wonderful they think i am(to be said with a straight face) and how much they appreciate all i do for them (also to be said with a straight face.) I am actually thinking of hiding everyones socks and underwear just to see how they handle that knowing that it is mother's day and that no one is supposed to bother me...
in a perfect world, every day should be mothers day (sorry dads...) but, since moshiach isn't here and it still isn't perfect...i will take my one day a year and appreciate every minute...
3 more shopping days until mothers day....(in case you didn't know)
happy thursday
though i have had thoughts about this blog running through my head for the past week or so, watching last night's episode of the middle made me want to bring it to fruition....
what is mothers day? on mothers day, the husband decides that since it is only one day, perhaps he can play the role of the mother...bringing her food, taking care of the kids, cleaning up the kitchen, making sure that she can have a restful,pleasant day.....that being said, i have been thinking about fathers day..
if on mothers day, the husband is supposed to act like the mother (minus the moodiness, crankiness and screaming) then on fathers day, the mother is supposed to be play the role of the father (minus the constant need for affection, attention and sports). so this year, on fathers day, i am going to wake up at 6 in the morning and leave the house until 8 at night. i am going to earn money(anyone need a babysitter?) and then i am going to come home and expect dinner on the table(leftovers are totally acceptable)and to be given a few moments of peace and quiet(and the remote)after my long hard day at work ....
how is that? this year we have no plans for mothers day(exept for baseball, of course) i don't expect any grand gestures...i just want to go spinning and to have my family tell me how wonderful they think i am(to be said with a straight face) and how much they appreciate all i do for them (also to be said with a straight face.) I am actually thinking of hiding everyones socks and underwear just to see how they handle that knowing that it is mother's day and that no one is supposed to bother me...
in a perfect world, every day should be mothers day (sorry dads...) but, since moshiach isn't here and it still isn't perfect...i will take my one day a year and appreciate every minute...
3 more shopping days until mothers day....(in case you didn't know)
happy thursday
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
wednesday may5, 2010
too old for the apple store part 2
i was unable to fully describe my experience yesterday at the apple store. perhaps that was because i was blogging on one of their "test" computers and i was standing up(i guess i think better sitting down perhaps indicating where my brain actually is instead of where it should be) and i had no idea what i was doing, as matthew had to log me on to the internet just to start...
everyone wants to help you in that store...there are about 30 people in blue shirts that are always asking "how can i help you?""are you being helped" "has anyone asked you if you needed help" i decided i need a staff like that in my house...how awesome would it be to come home after a long day and have 30 people ask me if they can cook dinner or put the groceries away or help the boys with their homework(i never actually do that, but it would be nice to have someone ask me if they could do it for me....)
in the back of the store they have the "genius bar" i think it is called a bar, or maybe i was just hoping that is was a bar....but as soon as i saw the word genius, i knew i would never be applying for a job there...and what qualifies these people as being geniuses? perhaps it is because they know how to use the computers and i am still scared of them....
and then, i was eavesdropping on one of the conversations that a mac doctor was having with a very attractive customer(first i thought is was ari...but it wasnt,but man, the guy looked JUST LIKE ari..except for the awesome "sleeve"tattoo on his left arm...)anyway, the doctor was telling him the virtues of "backing up" his system..in fact, his exact words word "it is really good to be backed up.." well, mr mac doctor, i have to disagree with you, because when i am backed up, i am especially cranky...i was about to tell the guy this when jack saw my face and knew exactly what i was thinking and said... "mom, if you dare say a word to that guy...i am leaving the store..."
ok, he didn't really say that to me, but he did know what i was thinking....so we had to leave the computer in the mac hospital....and much to my chagrin the doctor did explain to me what he thought was wrong with the computer, but all i heard was the voice of charlie brown's teacher...waa wa waa wa waa wa...and then something about calling me and then i really really needed a real bar that had no geniuses in it...just coconut rum and pineapple juice.....
get well jack's computer....may you have a speedy, inexpensive recovery..
happy wednesday
i was unable to fully describe my experience yesterday at the apple store. perhaps that was because i was blogging on one of their "test" computers and i was standing up(i guess i think better sitting down perhaps indicating where my brain actually is instead of where it should be) and i had no idea what i was doing, as matthew had to log me on to the internet just to start...
everyone wants to help you in that store...there are about 30 people in blue shirts that are always asking "how can i help you?""are you being helped" "has anyone asked you if you needed help" i decided i need a staff like that in my house...how awesome would it be to come home after a long day and have 30 people ask me if they can cook dinner or put the groceries away or help the boys with their homework(i never actually do that, but it would be nice to have someone ask me if they could do it for me....)
in the back of the store they have the "genius bar" i think it is called a bar, or maybe i was just hoping that is was a bar....but as soon as i saw the word genius, i knew i would never be applying for a job there...and what qualifies these people as being geniuses? perhaps it is because they know how to use the computers and i am still scared of them....
and then, i was eavesdropping on one of the conversations that a mac doctor was having with a very attractive customer(first i thought is was ari...but it wasnt,but man, the guy looked JUST LIKE ari..except for the awesome "sleeve"tattoo on his left arm...)anyway, the doctor was telling him the virtues of "backing up" his system..in fact, his exact words word "it is really good to be backed up.." well, mr mac doctor, i have to disagree with you, because when i am backed up, i am especially cranky...i was about to tell the guy this when jack saw my face and knew exactly what i was thinking and said... "mom, if you dare say a word to that guy...i am leaving the store..."
ok, he didn't really say that to me, but he did know what i was thinking....so we had to leave the computer in the mac hospital....and much to my chagrin the doctor did explain to me what he thought was wrong with the computer, but all i heard was the voice of charlie brown's teacher...waa wa waa wa waa wa...and then something about calling me and then i really really needed a real bar that had no geniuses in it...just coconut rum and pineapple juice.....
get well jack's computer....may you have a speedy, inexpensive recovery..
happy wednesday
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
tuesday, may 4, 2010..live from the apple store
another you know you are getting old when.....
i am currently at the mall because jack's mac needs a doctor. our first stop was baby gap...i ask the man helping me if the babies ever complain about how loud the music is in there...he laughed at me and then offered me a geritol...
off to the apple store where we made an appt(did you know that you had to make an appt?) my kids feel very comfortable in here...they are playing with the gadgets while we wait for the mac doctor to give us a diagnosis....i feel like i am in a foreign land where i don't know the language...i just had a discussion with the mac doctor about why apple went from the little cute ipod to the big heavy ipad-doesn't technology go from bigger to smaller? i used the example of the 8 track tape machine as the example....he looked at me with kind eyes, clearly had no idea what an 8 track is and then, he too, handed me a geritol(first he told me to take a seat because i am the oldest person currently in this store....)
btw(that means by the way for you older folk) do any of you even know what geritol is? it's an OLD PERSON vitamin...who knew that was now protocol to give those out at the mall...
my kids are laughing at me, which makes me happy that at least i am making them happy by getting older....though i still have a few more minutes until we get the diagnosis...i hope it's a positive one, because if the man thinks that he will be able to explain to me about what is wrong..we will have some serious problems because i don't think there are any translators in here.....(though i am wondering if any of these friendly helpers in the blue shirts can get me a beverage...i think i am having another hot flash.....)
happy tuesday
Monday, May 3, 2010
monday may 3, 2010
it's almost mothers day....
for the first time in a long time ari and i went to the movies this weekend and saw date night with steve carell and tina fey. i love tina fey, i want to be tina fey-funny, smart successful...she totally rocks. anyway, when you see a movie like that, one that "exposes" what becomes of a marriage...it's not all flowers and candy, romance and wooing....but getting through each day without killing eachother..and it makes you laugh, you realize that if there is a movie about it, it isn't just you!!! thank god, because i thought that i was the only one who made fun of her husband...obviously not, if IT'S IN A MOVIE...and i know the movie is not based on my life.....
recently, i got something in the mail that also made me realize that it isn't just my husband who needs a "nudge".....it is called the "guy's build it yourself guide to an amazing mother's day brunch." it is a step by step instruction booklet for men on how to make a brunch for their wives. It lists the "tools" needed, where to find the groceries(unfotunately it doesn't include to directions to a supermarket.. )There are also instructions on how to make a mimosa (sure, that is all my wife needs...more alcohol....and in the morning...)So clearly, my husband is not the only one who wouldn't be able to make brunch for me on his own. don't get me wrong, i know that i am still not getting a brunch because when i handed ari the manual, he laughed and said "what do you want me to do with this?" but it has instructions!! it has a picture of where the plate goes (but then the husband would have to know where the plates are in order to have a plate at all....)where the vase with the flower goes ( ha ha ha) where the croissant goes (honey, what's a croissant?) it is a well intentioned manual....but what do they say about the best intentions? ( i don't know...what do the say about the best intentions?)
so we take the good and the bad and we all have good and bad...(even me, though that is hard for me to admit...)and we take one day at a time and hope we live to see the next day and the day after that.....and hope that we laugh more than we cry...
happy monday
for the first time in a long time ari and i went to the movies this weekend and saw date night with steve carell and tina fey. i love tina fey, i want to be tina fey-funny, smart successful...she totally rocks. anyway, when you see a movie like that, one that "exposes" what becomes of a marriage...it's not all flowers and candy, romance and wooing....but getting through each day without killing eachother..and it makes you laugh, you realize that if there is a movie about it, it isn't just you!!! thank god, because i thought that i was the only one who made fun of her husband...obviously not, if IT'S IN A MOVIE...and i know the movie is not based on my life.....
recently, i got something in the mail that also made me realize that it isn't just my husband who needs a "nudge".....it is called the "guy's build it yourself guide to an amazing mother's day brunch." it is a step by step instruction booklet for men on how to make a brunch for their wives. It lists the "tools" needed, where to find the groceries(unfotunately it doesn't include to directions to a supermarket.. )There are also instructions on how to make a mimosa (sure, that is all my wife needs...more alcohol....and in the morning...)So clearly, my husband is not the only one who wouldn't be able to make brunch for me on his own. don't get me wrong, i know that i am still not getting a brunch because when i handed ari the manual, he laughed and said "what do you want me to do with this?" but it has instructions!! it has a picture of where the plate goes (but then the husband would have to know where the plates are in order to have a plate at all....)where the vase with the flower goes ( ha ha ha) where the croissant goes (honey, what's a croissant?) it is a well intentioned manual....but what do they say about the best intentions? ( i don't know...what do the say about the best intentions?)
so we take the good and the bad and we all have good and bad...(even me, though that is hard for me to admit...)and we take one day at a time and hope we live to see the next day and the day after that.....and hope that we laugh more than we cry...
happy monday
Sunday, May 2, 2010
sunday may 2, 2010..less than 6 months...oh boy
bobsey twins 2010..or...I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!
(all names have been changed to protect the innocent...)
It all started a few weeks ago in a swanky, exclusive dress shop in the fancy five towns...a store known for its discretion, its selection and its ridiculous prices....kayeesha stern was looking for a new dress and the sales lady knew just the dress for kayeesha..."no one else is will have this dress-it was made for you, fits you perfectly, brings out the color of your eyes...it is YOUR oscar dress...you will be the only one to have it..i promise."
kayeesha left the store feeling invincible. the dress gave her confidence...she couldn't wait to accesorize and really make it her own...but more importantly...she couldn't wait to wear it to her cousin's wedding...
the morning of the wedding kayeesha had her hair done, her nails, her toes, belly button ring was polished and she put on her new, one of kind, no one else on the eastern seaboard owns dress. and she felt great...and she looked great...and she and her husband went to the wedding.
kayeesha sauntered into the shmorgasbord (how do you spell that?) room and saw her twin across the room..wait a second...kayeesha doesn't have a twin....SOMEONE WAS WEARING HER DRESS!!!! the one of kind...i promise on the life of my puppy that no one else will have this dress dress....the twin turned and saw kayeesha and the same look of horror came over her face as well.....and then they looked at their husbands....who almost simultaneosly said to their wives "no honey, you look so much better than she does...of course you do....it isn't even a question...."
tears were shed...but the twins got it together and enjoyed the wedding. and then they came home, put the dresses in their closets and vowed never to wear them again.....
the end
happy sunday
(all names have been changed to protect the innocent...)
It all started a few weeks ago in a swanky, exclusive dress shop in the fancy five towns...a store known for its discretion, its selection and its ridiculous prices....kayeesha stern was looking for a new dress and the sales lady knew just the dress for kayeesha..."no one else is will have this dress-it was made for you, fits you perfectly, brings out the color of your eyes...it is YOUR oscar dress...you will be the only one to have it..i promise."
kayeesha left the store feeling invincible. the dress gave her confidence...she couldn't wait to accesorize and really make it her own...but more importantly...she couldn't wait to wear it to her cousin's wedding...
the morning of the wedding kayeesha had her hair done, her nails, her toes, belly button ring was polished and she put on her new, one of kind, no one else on the eastern seaboard owns dress. and she felt great...and she looked great...and she and her husband went to the wedding.
kayeesha sauntered into the shmorgasbord (how do you spell that?) room and saw her twin across the room..wait a second...kayeesha doesn't have a twin....SOMEONE WAS WEARING HER DRESS!!!! the one of kind...i promise on the life of my puppy that no one else will have this dress dress....the twin turned and saw kayeesha and the same look of horror came over her face as well.....and then they looked at their husbands....who almost simultaneosly said to their wives "no honey, you look so much better than she does...of course you do....it isn't even a question...."
tears were shed...but the twins got it together and enjoyed the wedding. and then they came home, put the dresses in their closets and vowed never to wear them again.....
the end
happy sunday
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